Call or texting her too much. . .?

How often should a guy text or call his girlfriend? If you do it too much you come off as clingy and that's not *Sexy*; Too little and it can show that you don't care enough.

Where is the middle ground here? Every relationship is different, but there has to be a good average to go by until you can feel it


Most Helpful Girl

  • So here's the deal.

    You need to know your audience and what is expected of you as a texter. Does she LIKE all the texting? Would she notice the abrupt change in how frequently you text her and then say "What's wrong?" and be suspicious? Will she say "Thank God you've stopped texting; it was too much for me..."? Before you reduce texting drastically, you have to figure out what she would appreciate as a positive number of texts (as opposed to overkill).

    Next, how often do you currently text her? All day long? Three times a day (first thing in the AM, during your lunch break, then before dinner/bed)? Either of these may be considered a little tooooo much. Try for twice a day -- one "surprise" one mid-day (stick to a cute one-liner), and another at a time that will become your usual communication time (which I would ultimately exchange for a quick "Busy?" and then a phone call).

    Next, wait for positive feedback. Don't just send out a million little texts. A guy once sent me "She walks in beauty like the night" in a text. I wrote back "Thanks. Have a nice day." At the time I was single and this fellow was just a friend, but now imagine scrolling through this lengthy thing on a little flip phone. Not appealing to the recipient. Keep the message short and sweet. (Longer comms are for the phone or email.) Next, look at my response; I'm not falling over him with praise or even saying "Wow, this is awesome, thanks!" to encourage another lengthy text. Read the message she sends you back to see if she appreciates what you're sending her.

    I tell my guy that one phone call = fifty texts... and that I'd rather hear his voice while I'm driving or walking around than to read a million little texts. I like the sound of his voice; it's a comfort at the end of a long work day.

    Bottom line? Texting is for the "short and sweet" message or the directional message ("I'm down a block, waving at you, see?") and not for the lengthy monologues which will ultimately go unanswered because no one can keep up with all that reading; it's why many purchase *War and Peace* in it's abridged audio version these days...


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • How long have you been together?

    • 6 months

    • Then in that case, you have nothing to worry about. At this stage in the relationship, texting alone doesn't dictate whether or not you're clingy or don't care.

What Guys Said 1

  • There's no too much in a relationship when you're both having your free time.

    Though if one's busy, you should draw the line.

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