Guy I've been dating on for 4 weeks, winked at my girlfriend yesterday. What should I think?

So, this guy I've been communicating with for 4 weeks, winked at one of my friends yesterday. This guy and I typically communicate via text once or more per day, we are not intimate. Now that I'm aware he's still pursuing other women, I can hardly bring myself to text him back. I really like him, but clearly it's not reciprocated when he's seeking out other women on Match. I respond to guys emails, but I don't pursue, i.e. wink or initiate contact. What's worse is there is a picture of my friend and I (the one he winked at yesterday) on my Match profile. I'm disappointed, because I thought he was a potential partner, now I'm way confused, offended, & let down. I can't bring myself to text him back, because I feel so weird about it. It's only been 4 weeks, so I'm just not sure what to think. I like him, he's a good person. Insight please?

We have been on a few dates just to clarify.


Most Helpful Girl

  • you guys never talked about exclusivity, not intimate yet. you are still on early dating stage.

    sounds like you are still on the site too. and you also reply emails and winks.

    although he is making initiative to someone, you are too communicating with other guys.

    he will obviously assume 'this girl is still checking the site' and obviously he will still out on the field since you guys are not really anything.

    since you've talked to him for a month, I don't know how close you guys are and how many dates you guys went, how much you guys talk to each other.. it all depends on these little facts.

    so try to see if you guys are serious enough where you two want to stop talking other people and see how it goes. but since you like him alot, why don't you bring it up just asking if he's dating or still on the site.. and take it from there.


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What Guys Said 2

  • If monogamy hasn't been discussed, presume the other person to be open to seeing other people.

    It seems to be a popular trend for people to "serial date", as in date more than one person at a time.

    You have to understand that his style of dating (several women at once) is different than your style (focus on one person at a time), and y'all haven't had the monogamous talk, so he isn't "cheating" or doing anything wrong.

  • Jealous before even one date with the guy?...

    • You're right. I shouldn't have even given it a second thought, since I'm communicating with other guys, and am in pursuit of the healthiest relationship. I don't intend on bringing it up, it's silly and insecure of me. I suppose I was just having a moment. Thanks!

    • We have been on a few dates, just to clarify.

What Girls Said 1

  • If you have not established an official relationship, he is free to date around. Maybe he didn't notice it was you in the picture next to your gf? Do you see him often? If it bugs you I would bring it up to him and then you can both decide if the relationship should go to an exclusive level.