If you have been dating someone for a month, is it normal to still be on a dating site and active?

Hey, I've been dating this girl for a month now...things seem to be moving way too fast. We met on a dating type of site...it's like Facebook but for dating, not sure if I'm allowed to say the site name here...we have been seeing each other all of the time...she had me meet her Mom...my Mom happened to fly in for 3 days to visit so she met mine too...I think the relationship is moving way too quickly as is...but noticed that she was still in the dating site and listed as (Very Popular) which means she's been chatting with dudes...is that normal or should I confront her about it?

Saw her tonight and I asked her if she has visited the website while we started dating and she said no, which at the time I thought was a straight lie...I was acting way different for the next hour or 2 and she kept asking what was wrong so I asked her again, "Have you gone on (website) and talked with dudes since we became boyfriend and gf?" (By the way she asked me to not go on the site when we became a couple.) She said "no" again, and I said, "That's what's wrong, I know u've been in (website) because I
went on (website) today out of curiosity to see when you were last on and it said 2 hours ago...then like an hour later it said you were on 15 min ago." She then almost started to cry and showed me the (website) app on her phone and said when she uses her phone, it says that she's on (website)...she then showed me the messages from about 30 guys...she hadn't responded to any of them...I felt like a freaking idiot...then she deleted the app..guess I'll see where it goes from here.


Most Helpful Girl

  • confront her!

    • I did tonight! and she convinced me that I was wrong to not trust her, showed me her phone and a bunch of (website) texts she hadn't responded too. I felt like an idiot.

    • i know it generally happens and you do feel like an idiot but at least now you know what the truth is. Atleast now you can move on from here without any grudges. Know whta get her flowers and chocolates and kiss her. she will be back to normal

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • if she cares about you and you don't like her on dating sites...she should delete her profile

    u can creat a fake person and test her..see what she says...but don't ever tell her you did it

    • that's a good idea! ScAnDalOuS =P

    • it worked for me so many times and I was so right to do it. saved me the heart ache and time wasted on POS!

  • I think that meeting online can kind of confuse the line between when it's time to delete the profiles and when it's okay to keep using them.

    But I agree, if you two were a couple and she wanted you to stop using the site, she should also stop using it.

    Now lucky for you she wasn't using it. She just hadn't deleted her profile. Hopefully this works out between you two.

  • If she lives at home you may have only met her Mom because Mom's are protective of their daughters. Her Mom may have just said if you're hanging out with someone from an online dating site I'd like to meet him. If anything I'd just talk to her about it. Any type of questions you have don't hold back. Plus if you haven't had any type of talk about being exclusive then I don't see a problem with her still talking to other guys.

    • She was asking me to meet her mom for a few days...the relationship has moved really quickly like I said, she asked me not to use (website) so I thought there was an assumption that she would do the same...after tonight though, I don't think she was talking with guys...it was just them talking to her...still not sure though.

What Guys Said 3

  • It TOTALLY depends on if you had the "exclusivity talk" yet.

    If not, then that's where interpretation is different. She may be assuming that you are active on a dating site because other guys she's dated have done the same.

    My personal motto is: if you haven't explicitly talked about being exclusive, assume she is pursuing other guys as well.


    In short, let her know that you are only interested in her and you're not pursuing other people (telling her this makes a huge difference),

    and that you want her to do the same.

    If she refuses, then you're gonna have to let her be and break things off.

  • Are you sure you are dating and not "dating"?

    • she had me meet her whole family...cooked for me...my mom happened to be visiting so she met my mom and we went on a trip together...she's telling me she loves me and we see each other almost every day...i guess I'm pretty sure we're dating and not "dating" if what you mean by "dating" is just friends with benefits or whatever...what did you mean by "dating" though?

  • It's not normal.

    That's like keeping your options open.

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