Fellas I need some input!! Or females who have been in similar situations!

I have basically been friends with benefits with this guy for about 3 years. In that 3 years we have dated other people with whom we have messed around on with one another. (No bashing please) Anywho, until this year we had never had sex. We had done everything but sex.

We have gone out publicly on a couple of dates. He has met some of my friends, I have met some of his. We are both 2 diff races just to throw that out there. I am black he is white. I have dated white guys before, and he has not dated a black girl.

Now he tells me he loves me and in a weird way I believe him. When he is drunk he pretty much pours his heart out to me. When he introduces me to his friends he says I'm his girl.

What confuses me is when I ask him why he hasn't tried to be in a relationship with me as opposed to other girls he just says he doesn't know or it hasn't crossed his mind.

In my head I feel like its the whole race thing and the factor of fear and how people would look at him. But I feel like at some he meeds to grow a pair. We seem to be perfect for one another. We both have evident feelings for one another..but we seem to be stuck at this weird fwb/open relationship kinda thing.

What do you guys think? Could it be the race thing? Or is he afraid of commitment? He makes me so happy but his un certain ways really pisses me off at times. I would love some input on this! PLEASE!


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  • I think it is both. Race and commitment.

    It is obvious that he is afraid of commitment because as you said you guys are FWB. If he really wanted commitment, he would not be your friend with benefits. It appears as if he isn't really yet to commit, he has been dating other people aside from you.

    And to answer the race question, probably yes. He has never dated a black girl so he might be scared of how his family and friends will look at him or what they will say. It also shows that he may not really love you because if he did, even if he hasn't dated a black woman, he wouldn't care of other people's opinion.

    The best thing is to communicate with him and ask him directly, he is the one who will give you the best answer.

    • I've asked him before was it about the race and he explained to me that it was not the case. I just don't v understand why he parades me around as his girlfriend whenever we do go out (which isn't much) . He gets jealous if I bring up some guy I'm talking to. Like he will stop replying and all. He is so wishy washy and no matter how many times I ask questions to get some clarity he never gives a flat out explanation. Just some vague response like he is scarred to discuss his feelings or something.

    • From what you are telling me, it seems that he is scared of committing even if he introduces you as his girl and you guys are FWB.