I'd like to understand "friend before dating" situations?

I'd like to understand "friend before dating" situations? I know that as a guy I don't need much stimulation in order to want to have sex with a girl, but for girls it often takes forever to get in the mood for sex and also they often complain that guys don't commit to them. I've noticed that most of the guys I know have met their girlfriend through friendship first. Can somebody explain? or Justify? why is it when a guy "walk's away" and has totally lost interest that girls suddendly wake's up and wanna have sex? Also Why not simply be upfront with her feelings for a guy (whether she likes him or not)? Why women feel the need to "Friend zone Guys (back-up/Tool guy)" before dating them, in other words?

*People break-up often times whether the relationship involved friendship or not, why waste time?

Thanks in advance.

OMG! Bobair and MrOracle, You both Give Powerful insights. I'd BA both of you seriously. I learned more in 7 minutes than in a 2 hours class.


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  • This only happens to guys who lack confidence.

    An Alpha guy will go up to a girl and ask her out the first time he meets her. And he won't even really *ask*, he'll say "I'd like to take you out Friday. I'll pick you up about 7 and we can grab something to eat on the way to [event/activity]. Sound good?" By being direct, he lets the girl know that he isn't looking for a friendship; it's dating or nothing. If she says "no", he'll smile, say, "thanks anyway" and he'll move on to another girl, and NOT CARE that she said "no", because he knows there are plenty of other girls out there. The thing is, though, guys with this kind of confidence hear "yes" a lot more often than a Beta guy does, even though they still get plenty of "no's".

    A Beta guy will talk to a girl and try to be friendly with her, because he's too intimidated to be direct. He'll try to slowly work up the nerve to ask her out, and hope that by becoming friends over time first, that she'll like him more and trust him more. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way; it only makes girls put those guys into the FriendZone, and once there, escape is virtually impossible. Even worse, she might continue to be friends with him, which makes him believe he might eventually have a chance with her, when what's really happening is that she is using him, for attention, emotional support, and often favors or even money, until she comes across a guy she is sexually attracted to (i.e., an Alpha male) who she bangs. And when he doesn't treat her well, she'll go to the "friend" and cry on his shoulder and make him her "cuddle bitch". The Beta male will think that being a cuddle bitch means he's getting closer to the prize, but the truth is, the prize is never going to be within his grasp with that girl, EVER.

    If you've allowed yourself to be a Beta male with a girl, you've ruined your relationship with that girl forever, and the only thing you can do is drop all contact with her, learn to be an Alpha male, and find some new girls to ask out and date, and NEVER give them a chance or excuse to put you in the FriendZone.

  • Men don't feel the same way about dating and sex than women because men don't face the same dangers as women.

    Dangers like:

    - Rape

    - Social Judgements (sluts, whores, rejection of friends, etc)

    - Pregnancy

    Women can't be as willy nilly about sex as men because of all these other issues they face.

    So the "friends first" is really just the time they need to confirm you're not just looking to TAKE from her (take sex, attention, affection, etc) without any intent to GIVE BACK. They worry because there are plenty of dudes who are selfish d***s who lack empathy or common compassion.

    As a man I would recommend you assume the "friends first" is the "dating" phase of the relationship.

    She calls it "friends" but you can call it "dating" because it can look exactly the same - spending time together getting to know each other. During which time you treat her exactly as you would any date... flirting, teasing, having fun and constant sexual escalation.

    During this "friends" phase you should be slowly escalating towards that first kiss. Escalating with all types of physical touch like hugs, hand holding, cuddling, whispering in ears, etc.

    By the end of the second or third date you should have tried kissing her.

    I can tell from your comments that you're frustrated with the "dating" phase of the sexual relationships you're seeking... which implies that you're not looking for a girlfriend or "getting to know her" ... if this is true then just avoid women who want more than just sex.

    There's nothing wrong with wanting one-night stands, just don't waste time with those women who DO want more than sex.

    Hope this helps? :)

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

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