Seriously considering online dating

I am a guy in his twenties and I have up until now had no experience whatsoever with women. That means no dates, no kisses, nothing.

For a long time I never considered online dating an option but as time passes by and things just don´t change for me (well why should they if I do nothing about it) then I have thought about giving online dating a try.

First off, I´d like to know what would be a good site for me to use. I´d like to concentrate on one at the moment and not wage a war on many fronts at once. What would be the best one to suit a guy who:

- Is in his early twenties

- Lives in London (UK)

- University educated and working a white collar job

- Very athletic

- Originally from continental Europe but without a strong accent

- Not looking for anything too serious initially though not necessarily a hook up site either (though I am by no means against hook ups)

Ideas on what might be the optimal dating website for me? I can of course Google dating sites but I am wondering if anybody has any further input

Regarding my profile:

- How can I not come off as too much of a virgin or seeming needy? No use in scaring people off before they have even met me

- Two questions regarding profile pics:

1) I spent some time in the military and have some pics of me there. Although I do have an awesome one of me with a machine gun and ammo belts, I´d have to be mentally handicapped to stick that on my dating profile. How about one with me simply wearing a uniform? Would it scare off the more left-wing/liberal girls or could it be seen as attractive/"macho"?

2) As I am a very athletic person and it is a big part of my life, would it be a good idea to have a pic in there (I think one is enough, two or more in my view might make it seem like I just spend the entire day in the gym) of me doing my sport?

I am sorry but the answers I have received so far are completely pointless and have nothing to do with my original questions. Could someone please just address those?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Firstly, I think online dating is a great step to take! We are living in a technological world and that's how a lot of couple's are meeting these days. It can at times be quite frustrating but you just have to hang in there :) My best advice to give would be that if you connect with someone online to try and arrange to meet them within a few weeks. From my experience, due to certain circumstances there were times where I was unable to meet someone for months. And even though there seemed to be an amazing connection online sometimes when I met them in person there was just no spark. So I think the only way for you to truly know is to meet them in person as soon as it feels comfortable for both of you.

    As for sites to use I personally used Plenty of Fish. The main attraction about it for me was that simply it was free. At times I became frustrated with some of the messages I debated about going to a more "serious" site like or because I thought that because people were paying for those sites that they would be a bit more serious about it. However, someone told me that he had been on both and Plenty of Fish and he didn't really notice a difference in the messages he was receiving so he stuck with Plenty of Fish.

    Regarding your profile! They say to talk about your interests and types of music that you like, however what attracts my attention to profiles is when they are different. Profiles that don't talk about generic stuff like, "I like hanging out with my family, friends and I love to travel!" Who doesn't :) So for example, if you do like traveling maybe mention a specific place and something neat that you did there or a funny story that happened while you were there. Something that will really capture a person's attention and set you apart from all the other profiles!

    I can't stress enough that it REALLY makes a difference if you put effort and thought into your profile description as well as the messages you are sending to women. The messages that I received that showed a man actually read my profile were the best. So ask questions that relate to something she said in her profile. There were far too many "hey's!" in my inbox, which I ignored. If I'm going to put thought and effort into my messages and profile, I want the person messaging me to do the same :)

    Pictures: The pictures that I find the most attractive of men are the ones where they are genuinely smiling! The worst possible photo you could choose is one of you showing off your muscles, shirt off or a mirror picture. I think the picture of you with ammo and machine guns would be a little too much. But if you have a nice one of you in uniform smiling or with some friends that would be great! If sports are a big part of your life, definitely put a picture of you playing! I think a variety of pictures is the best that captures who you think you are but also gives a good impression.

    Hope that helps :)


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I fully support u on giving online dating a go! There are some advantages:
    1. Chance to meet people you normally wouldn't meet
    2. Save time
    3. Meet people who are in the market
    4. Less fear of rejection
    5. Many more potential dates

    As I am from UK too, I'd recommend u to check out.
    Quite a trustworthy website with lots of British singles. Good luck! xxx


What Guys Said 2

  • You should really do it. You have a wonderful profile.

  • Girls get like hundreds of messages a week, some girls hudnreds a day! Online dating is pointless if you're a guy, it really is.

    • not true,if you only go after the most gorgeous women your chances lessen,u can meet decent women online

    • Have you tried online dating? I have. And every girl I know who has has received tons of messages. There's even been research that shows eactly the same thing. If you're a guy, you need really good looks to do well online dating, and because guys can't wear make-up, that's tough. If you're a guy with model looks, you'll get replies, and you might even get a couple of messages a month from girls you haven't contacted, but that's still probably less than what an ugly girl is getting!

    • A guy would have a better chance with a pretty girl in person than he would with an ugly girl online. Why? Because confidence in person matters a lot.

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