I don't want to be the "fun" guy...I want to be the guy girls want to date

Here's the thing: I'm really spontaneous and funny. You'd think this would be attractive to women, but instead I just get slotted as the "fun" guy. No girl has actually been interested in me dating-wise, even though a lot of them think I'm fun.

But...if I'm not like that, I don't have much else to offer. I'm short and below-average looking. So all I have is my personality.

How can I get through this conundrum?


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  • Everytime I hear this I feel like there's A) some bias I'm missing (AKA You like a handful (or less) of women and they don't like you) or B) a small sample problem combined with a lack of meaningful interaction (15 women I know, none like me, all in class, see each other only in passing / at parties / they don't know me and I really don't know them),

    If you pass A and B then all you need to do is show genuine interest by being funny but only so funny, not using jokes as a means to socialize, but instead using them as a tool to show interest. In short a joke would be inclusive and the conversation would carry both weighted and light topics with you expressing yourself in both serious and hil-ar-ious ways.

    Sample: "I work at _____."

    "Is that so?"

    "Yeah, it's a total ______ funny _____"


    "Okay, so what do you do?"

    "I work with kids."

    [srsmode activated]

    "Wow, that is admirable, ____ genuine interest, no funny ___"

    [srsmode, lightened upon response]

    "Well ____ FLIRTATION/PLAYFUL LANGUAGE combined with genuine support of ideals and introduction of personal ideals that match"

    The rest carries itself.

    • that's pretty much what I do (part of the spontaneity). actually ,I get really pissed at people who just come up to me slowly for jokes like I'm there to entertain them.

      I think it's more B. I've asked out only about 11 girls in my life. For the past few years I've just been seeing the same girls around over and over.

      Even worse, the majority of them are taken.

      There's a girl I'm getting so well with...our personalities fit perfectly and our interactions are so fun. But she has a bf.

    • meant to say "who come up to me SOLELY"

    • So let's see, we have options!

      1. Actually go to a singles group. They have them. No shame in being there. This way you can avoid the totally lame reality of running into women who are taken.

      2. Be both. When interacting with a person, no matter who it is, consciously control the humor level by ( at first purposefully ) trying to keep at least one minute to five minutes of seriousness. This way people don't get the idea that you're a total clown and it's your DESTINY and GOAL to laugh.

  • You should try to be more sexual in your intentions. If sexual intention is applied, most women will fall head over heels for the guy.

    • how do you imply sexual intention other than saying it outright?