Are some people just undatable?

I feel it's the case for me. I'm 25 and I've only been on one date in my entire life, and we only went out for a week before she decided she liked girls all of a sudden.

Every girl I've approached ever has rejected me, if I ever give a girl my number she never calls, and if I ever get one from a girl she never answers. Forget being approached, no one has ever come to me... ever. Never been to prom or any dances, no one would go with me.

I recently tried online dating, and once again, I get totally ignored or they go as far as to deactivate their accounts. No joke, there have been at least 4 girls I've messaged on dating sites who went to close their accounts the next day.

The thing is, I don't think I'm that bad of a guy. A bit of a shut in maybe, but I'm not totally hideous, gross, I'm hygienic, I'm a nice enough person, and yet I seem to repel girls at a near 100% success rate.

What could possibly be wrong with me? Am I just that unlucky?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't say that about yourself, you've just had a bad run. How many girls are we talking about? More than 10? In what time frame, a year, couple years, or your whole life? Because the more you approach and ask out, the better your chances of a yes are.

    The first thing is a lot of girls won't call you if you give them your number, so just get theirs and give them a call.

    You also need to change the way you see yourself, because it sounds like these rejections are really affecting your self-esteem - which is understandable, but you might be unconsciously displaying those negative feelings about yourself, and girls are getting put off by it. You need to be confident and sure of yourself, because that puts people at ease and they feel more inclined to give you a chance.

    So if you don't have that, fake it till you make it. Look people straight in the eyes, don't slouch or look at the ground, have an easy smile, master your nerves, and when you go up to a girl think of it in the sense that you're just going up to her because she seems cute and friendly and you want to get to know her, no big deal. Don't go out looking for a girlfriend, or act like she would be doing you a great favor if she said yes. No, you're a great guy with a lot to offer, and you'd like it if she said yes, but it's not the end of the world if she says no. That's the mindset you should have (and it's the one I have), because not only is it more attractive since it's not desperate, but also rejections won't wear you down as much.

    Try places other than a dating site for a while, like friends of your friends, acquaintances, girls you meet at events, classes you take, even the bar scene. Make sure you take care of your appearance, dress well, and just overall give a good impression. It's really important not to be a homebody, you have to get out there.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Haha -- I'm going to go with what the dudes say.

    The reason why you keep getting rejected is because you lack confidence. Women can sense insecurity from a mile away like sharks do blood. Okay, I'm exaggerating but it's built into us females to detect whether a male is an Alpha or and Omega. There is this one guy I met recently who had a six figure income and his own business yet I could sense that he was completely insecure.

    Insecurity is the number one turn off for women. Not looks, not paychecks -- it's insecurity. Please don't get insecurity confused with shyness. I've seen guys who are confident but shy around women. Insecurity comes from within and not being able to accept and love who you are.

    You need to do things to boost your self confidence. Hit the gym. Go for a run. Learn a new language. Go skydiving. Okay, please do the last one at your own risk.

    If you can't love yourself, how can you expect anyone to love you either?

  • You're not undatable. You just haven't met the right girl. Once you do, she'll appreciate you for you and bring out all of your best qualities. :)

  • No. Every one has the ability to be datable. Please don't think anything is wrong with you! You are not unlucky. You just don't have a lot of experience which makes trying to date seem much tougher than it really is.

    Here is a quote about never giving up:

    "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." -Michael Jordan

    Don't give up. Believe in yourself. Do anything that helps you elevate your self-confidence and that will keep it high. I know it seems hard/impossible right now but things can turn around if you keep trying. ^_^


What Guys Said 4

  • Im in the same exact Boat as you. 25 and still a virign.

    One thing I have learned whenever you act relaxed and self confident around women.

    And have a good sense of humor. You will always get a better reaction from them.

    It can be hard to pull off if your shy like I am. But they will see you as more attractive.

    If something is bothering you or your insecure about your looks. Don't dwell on it or complain.

    Have a sense of humor about things and be laid back. They will love you for it.

  • You just lack confidence. Yes, you're just unlucky in meeting girls who don't like you at all.

    Also, don't give them your number. Get their number, and be the one to call them.

  • It sounds like you lack confidence.

    But you're right on one point: online dating is pointless for guys because of the large number of men bombarding almost every female user with tons of messages.

  • Some people make themselves undatable. You sound like one of them.

    • Well how so?

    • You are a bit of a shut in, by your own admission.

      You think having personal hygiene is something to put in your plus column, instead of thinking that should come as standard.

    • I just meant that nothing physically about me would make people not want to be around me, like body odor. Also, for some of the people I've known/been around it is not standard at all sadly.