Why do I feel like this even though...?

I have a girlfriend that I've been dating for just over a year now that I really like a lot and am probably in love with. So you could say I should feel pretty happy with that. But a couple years ago I "dated" a girl for a month and a half who was one of my good friends. She ended up using me as a rebound and she went back to her ex shortly after. I'm not sure why but I think about her at least once a day and I can't help why I'm thinking about someone who treated me so crappy.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think this goes to all possible situations not only when dating someone but in life generally. We focus on the bad things and not the good ones, or we think about the bad things but appreciate the good ones. Why? Because when it's good it's good and there's no need of thinking about it just live it and enjoy it, when it's bad we either search for solutions, clarity, think about how and why did it happen. I think it's normal reaction and does not determine one as a negative person as long as he/she doesn't obsess about it. Wow, everyday? Well if it's just once a day it's not obsession but worrying, maybe why did it happen and asking yourself if it was your fault. But sooner or later you're gonna let it go.

    • I just wonder about what she's up to. She seemed like she had a lot of potential and still does to do a lot bigger things than what she's doing, but yet dates bad guys.

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    • Well, she might have, but I don't believe it tbh. That's the thing, she think she loved them. Thinking isn't feeling. People often confuse huge attraction for love, cause they have similar signs - you wanna see that person as all the time, you wanna f*** them all the time and the difference is that one usually turns out to be just attraction (sexual one in most cases)...That's what I think, I don't say it as a fact...

    • No you're right on about the sex thing tho, I know for sure she f**** that guy a lot lol.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 4

  • I don't think it necessarily means that you are feeling conflicted over your current girlfriend. I think that as humans we often think about negative things or things that affected us negatively more than those positive things. This girl used you and probably kind poked a whole in your self esteem, so you think about that scar a lot.

    i'd try not to worry about it too much unless you feel your feelings toward your girlfriend aren't as strong as you think they should be. We tend to think about the things in life that hurt us badly and replay that over and over again in an effort to heal or avoid that same mistake again

  • ...because we not uncommonly tend to focus on those who bend us a bit out of shape. It happens.

    I learned that the best way to deal with it is- if you are cool and nice, treated her well and did nothing but be there for her... and she still walks away... then...

    F*CK 'em... because they aren't worth it... not your pain, not your sadness... not even your stray thoughts. They don't deserve you or your caring any longer. Good riddance.

    You got a good thing going, man. Focus on her.


    • ...because we not uncommonly tend to focus on those who bend us a bit out of shape. It happens. "


  • it'snormal to really resent being used by someone. This experience commonly poisons your existence because you are always questioning whether any new person you meet might have the same intentions.

    This keeps you from forming strong friendships or romantic relations. You are emotionally scarred by the experience with this girl.

    Try to enjoyhand value your friendships that still survive. Really try to help your friends and be givng towrds them The same fo your new girlfriend.--treat her better than you treated this backstabbing girl and be thankful for her loyalty.

  • It seems that you fell deeply for her that's why you keep on thinking about her.

    • I thought I did for awhile, but honestly afterward I learned more about her and realized who she really was. I didn't really like what I saw.

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