SoI had a rather big fight with this girl that I have been dating on and off for the most part of 2 years. I was out of town for a conference this past weekend in a rural college town and she went out with her friends to celebrate one of their birthdays. I just asked her to tell me that she's okay and home safe. So at 330 I text her goodnight that I am going to sleep and I hope she's having fun. She texted me saying OK and then called me about 10 minutes later. As the call started she blew up on me calling me needy and so forth. I told her that if worrying about your safety is needy then okay. Our whole relationship is basically she contacts me daily and often hourly. I don't call her and if so its because of something important. She drives roughly 2 hours round trip to come see me because she still lives at home and her parents don't approve of me because well I am a chubby guy. But she called me needy and saying she can't date someone who is immature. At this point I got pissed because I am in my later 20's very successful both in my personal life and professional life and felt that her jab was unjust. I told her I couldn't date someone who was crazy and delusional and I hung up on her.
She then texted me the next day asking me to help her with some assignment and apologized for the mean things she said and that she understands if I don't want to talk to her anymore. The thing is, I want to be with and part of me wants to settle down with her. She is a very confused soul. She doesn't have a career, is a perfectionist, and so forth. She has a hard time balancing life as well. I have been there for her as an emotional pillar since we started dating. She tells me how lost she'd be without me and how great I am for her as well as how lucky she feels. She also admitted to me that she has a hard time accepting that I love her given the situation of her life, hence why she tries to sabotage us and test me. I told her I am getting worn down. I am not in my early 20's anymore and want security not this hot and cold stuff. I want to be serious and committed. I have given her (in my mind) until September to find a career stick with it, as well as come to a conclusion of what path we take. Either we are in a serious relationship progressing the levels of such or we part ways and live our lives. It doesn't help that EVERYONE we encounter says we are perfect for one another and that we should just get married. She even agrees but won't let me talk to her parents to soothe things as she is scared of what might come. Anyways sorry this is so long but thanks to anyone who answers.
Most Helpful Girl
Yeah your girl definitely sounds like she has some issues to deal with. It must be very tiring for you but I think you should wait till September like you told her. Things may improve, stay the same, or get worse. You can make the decision once you take the time to see which of the three will happen. If things improve, great; if they stay the same or get worse, then you have to decide if you want to work on it more or really end it. For now it seems like you're willing to work on it since you said you want to settle down with her. But you deserve a chance to be happy so giving her time to adjust sounds good for your relationship.0