Women-Have you ever been confused about dating a guy?

So there's a girl I have liked for 2 years. We dated briefly before she moved away and it was great. I visited her once and then things fell off a bit but she always would reach out to me. She eventually moved back and said she wanted to be friends but I told her I couldn't do that. She would later reach out to me and I would confront her again about what she was doing, and tell her I only wanted to be more than friends. I told her not to contact me anymore after that.

Well 4 months later she started contacting me again. She invited me to a concert, and I started to have those ole feelings, but I didn't know what to think.

So in the past month we've hungout a few times. I took her to a different concert, had lunch, and then went to a festival this past weekend. The best so far was this weekend. I was more flirtatious with her and she was accepting of it all. She seemed more into me and even had someone take a photo of the two of us which she immediately posted online.

After the festival she invited me to her parents for dinner. She is currently living there until she moves into her own place in 3 weeks. We hungout on our own after dinner and it was really great but the whole time I don't know what I"m doing. I don't want to be her friend, I want to be her boyfriend.

When I went to leave she walked me to my car. Then there was an awkward pause. I wanted to kiss her but didn't want to be a creep. I just said "well this is awkward." Then I asked what we were doing, and why we were back in this familiar situation with one another.

She says I'm more than a friend but her feelings are blurred with me and she is confused. She also mentions that she as recently had a couple dates with a guy and it wasn't serious but she thought she might like him. I told her that if she really liked him she wouldn't be hanging out with me, and asking me over for dinner. Basically she just says she is confused about us. She says I'm a very special person and she wants me in her life but I told her that I didn't want to just be friends, and that she knows that.

After about an hour I threw caution to the wind and went in for a kiss after I noticed she wasn't uncomfortable with me getting closer to her. She and I made out passionately for a few minutes. Then for the remaining 30 min we kissed often and she never rejected me when I went in for another.

She kissed me goodbye and I went home. She texted me a song to listen to and the next day another one randomly (we share music alot). But when I texted her later she wasn't very responsive. And now its Monday and I didn't talk to her today.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do about all this. I like her a lot but don't know what I should do to win her over. I don't know if I should give her space to allow her to miss me or be more aggressive and ask her out. I don't want to allow this other guy to have his opportunities with her but I also don't want to come of as clingy with her.

I called tonight and didn't get an answer. She texted about an hour and half later saying she just got home and asked "how goes it?" I told her it goes well and that I called to see if she wanted to go to a pro baseball game this coming Sunday. She responded saying that she was attending a coworkers pool party and added a frownie face emoticon. I just said to do a cannonball for me. Not sure if I have terrible timing or I just need to back off


Most Helpful Girl

  • I know I do...

    I get into a relationship then I start to worry if it's really what I want and if I'm happy and if I really like them...

    Even if the answer is "yes" to all of them, that little seed of doubt was planted then starts to grow. After a while, I feel so confused and lost it becomes scary.

    Help her sort it out, that's my advice. For me at least, one of the scariest things is not knowing how you feel, and when you make choice when you don't know, you are afraid that maybe those weren't the right choices.

    • That's where I get stuck. I don't know what to do. I'm don't know how and if I should reach out to her because I don't know if I'd be too clingy. But I also don't think waiting around for days is a great move either. I just wonder if I can bring anything up without putting a lot of pressure on her. How would you want the guy to be in those situations where you were confused?

    • Show All
    • Well I've been there for 2 years off and on. She knows I like her and has told me how I make her happy and have been there for her during a lot of hard times. But I'm starting to feel used and like she only seeks me out to see if I'll still bite and then pushes me away when it gets too close. Her behavior is just inconsistent and irresponsible emotionally. She knows how I feel and let me get close and in a matter of 3 days be completely different

    • 2 years seems to be stringing you along for the ride. I would recommend in this situation (DEFINITELY not all) giving an ultimatum. Tell her either she actually starts a relationship with you and stop stringing you along, or tell her you're gone for good and you'll find someone else. Make sure she knows you're being completely serious and that she needs to make a choice because you're done being a toy. Decisions like that make people realize they want what they'll lose, or they don't. Good luck.

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What Girls Said 4

  • She told you she had a couple of dates w a guy and she thought she might like him. What she is going to do is string you along until she decides whether or not this guy is worth cutting ties with you altogether. IF you are comfortable knowing this and choose to wait it out just be aware that she may end up staying with hmi, in the end, ultimately its your decision, do you want to be the fallback guy? good luck

  • if its a coworker and she really liked you she would want you to come along,so that is not a good sign at all..i would forget about her

    • whats even worse is she didn't pick up the phone but text you to say she just got home, people can answer cell phones even when they are not home...she is full of it

    • We don't work together. She just started a new job and all of them that work there are women. So the party is people I don't know.

    • still..i ve invited my man to parties with people he didn't know..

  • Don't give her too much space don't be too aggressive, be active, persistent, not in her face about it,

    • So what is the right pacing? Should I be asking her out on dates or just dropping casual texts during the day? I know I sound dumb about this but I'm trying to put myself in the best position here

  • all...the... time... dealing with this right now... I broke up with him because I wasn't sure if I really liked him and wasn't sure he really liked me, now he's dating a new girl but I think its just to make me jealous, I figured out I d like him but now I'm too embarrassed to talk to him again...


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