I have no idea what to do..advice please.

This may be long but please help. basically I really like this girl and she gave me all the signs, so I decided to ask her out and eventually it resulted in epic fail. For about a month now I've been sulking terribly and all my friends are like get over it and I try but just cant. I think its because she's the first person I've ever asked or because I really like her. It got really bad because I eventually lost 30 pounds because of the whole situation which I'm not t proud about but a couple of weeks ago my friend told her all my feelings and how I still feel what I feel (this was all while I was sick) and she was supposed to talk to me about it...somewhat closure. she never did and I'm no surprised but I wouldn't mind knowing stuff y'know. she said she can't go out with me because she doesn't believe in high school dating but I just found out today she thinks she's too good for me. now this isn't like a popular hot girl or anything this is an average girl and in fact some of my friends guys and girl think she's ugly so I am devastated she said that and I'm also quite p*ssed. I can't sleep so I was wondering...any advice on the situation

p.s. I do really like her still but I just don't know anymore, please help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • You lost 30 pounds. You can't sleep. You are devastated...

    It sounds like what you have is an infatuation with this girl. Infatuation is NOT love. It is kind of like a starving person finding a bottle with something that looks like drinkable inside, and s/he swallow the thing without questioning what it is...

    If you meet a girl and after getting to know her better, find out that she is not your type, would you enjoy her being obsessed at sticking around you ? No. In fact, the more she is trying to get attached to you, the more you become frustrated. So, accept her "verdict". She has the right to choose, and so do you.

    Since this is your first date, it is advisable to learn from this experience. You are supposed to do that with every date, actually. Every experience is helping you out, by telling you to get clear on the your answer to these important questions, "What do I want in a dating relationship ? What kind of girl would I like to spend time with ?"

    Learn from this lesson by answering these two questions, and you will be on your way to receiving a highly satisfying relationship.

    Once you have learnt this lesson, or received the gift of this relationship, forget the whole thing. Put it into the past. Don't let your mind be filled with thoughts about her. Because that would prevent you from finding another girl, who may find you desirable.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Rejection is a part of life. You will get rejected in interviews, in school, at work, by women, and in all parts of life. No matter who you are, it will happen again and again.

    What makes the difference in people is how they handle it and accept it.

    There are millions of great females out there and you will never get to experience them if you keep on sulking about that one girl who rejected you. Take it in stride and use it as motivation to improve yourself. Go to the gym, learn guitar, or take a martial arts. All are great ways to take out emotion.

    In order to move on I would do the following:

    Don't talk to her anymore, don't talk about her, and don't think about her.

    Check out other girls and find the beauty in them.

    Trust me, there are amazing girls for you waiting in the future and you won't reach them unless you move on from the past.

    Even though you didn't technically have a breakup, I would follow the advice of this page since it will help you move on and get over a girl:


  • You asked her out. That took balls. Good on you for doing that. Remember that what she thinks of you doesn't change who you are (only you get to decide that).

    That was a VERY important experience and you're going to have to do it again. You'll get rejected sometimes and other times you won't. You'll probably be fulfilled along the way.

    If she doesn't like you, the reason to get over it is really just that you can't force her to like you. When you get forced to do something you don't want, does it make you want to do it more or less? Anyways, continue to ask out girls you like. With the billions of girls in the world, there's bound to be millions that are your type.