Guy just lost his dad? What should I do?

Ok. Basically there's a guy I recently met (Andrew) whose dad died very suddenly of cancer about 3 weeks ago.

Anyway I had been out with my friends last night for a few drinks. As I was about to head home I noticed Andrew kinda lingering around by himself. He had been with his friends but I don't know where they were at this point.

We live near each other so I said to him if he was heading home we could walk up together. We chatted all the way home and then his friends phoned him to see if he'd like to chill in their hot tub. Andrew asked if I wanted to go as well so I said yes. It was about one a.m but I was having a good chat with him. I told him on the way up that if he was intending a one night stand that I would just go straight back home. But he just told me not to tar him with the same brush as other guys.

When we got into the hot tub he was holding my hand and had kissed me on our way to his friend's hot tub. Eventually it got a bit cold and he asked if I wanted to go and cuddle in with him upstairs, so I did. He kissed me quite a bit and told me I was a good kisser. Then he cuddled me and fell asleep.

I just wondered if this all happened because he needed a little affection? Would he just use me or does he maybe like me?

Obviously I wouldn't want to go any further with anything considering the circumstances, I don't think the loss of his dad has properly sunk in yet.



Most Helpful Girl

  • at first I thought for sure he was asking you to go upstairs with him because he wanted sex, I've been in that situation before and that's always the line some guys use. I guess its a good thing he was tired and fell asleep because I think its very possible that he wanted more but was too tired to do it. Just show him you care but don't keep your guard up becuase he might use your sympathetic nature to his advantage.

    • Thanks, this was kind of what I wanted to hear. I almost thought he was going to try and have sex with me as well. He did like 'accidentally' brush one point with his hand but then he quickly apologized to me for that. So who knows. But thank you :)

    • sure hun, I've been there before and had those games played. Some will play them for awhile until you eventually give in. If you do see him next time see how he acts. Is he talking about "cuddling" or going to his place instead of a real date where you two can get to know each other. A guy that wants more than sex won't make a move that quick.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I'm sure he needs ccompanionship now. ahe muswt feel very alone in the world. It was nice of you to trust him and let him cuddle with you at this time.

    He must really appreciate your spending time with him. I'm sure he's not intending to use you in any way.

  • i would like to first say this is the first question posed as freely gay. I'm a bit proud to see it. Good for you.

    As to your question, it very well could be some grieving affection. However, that does not mean that it was entirely because of grief. Just be patient and see if anything happens.


What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think its wise to date someone who is mourning because they could emotionally be somewhere else.I've don't this myself,so I'm just being honest.

  • Take things slow.He might just need someone threre because of the trauma,but you won't know for sure unless you take things slowly.He could be doing this out of grieving.