24 year old male supervirgin going on first ever date and needs advice

I am a 24 year old male who has never ever gone on a date before, held a girls hand, kissed or anything basically. I joined an online dating site and managed to get a date with a girl for the very first time ever in my entire life for the upcoming weekend.

Although I can read up on a some general pieces of dating etiquette via a Google search, there are some more specific things that I need help with (plus any general advice you can give me).

1) If she were to ask me (because I wouldn´t simply volunteer such info) about my dating history, how should I approach the answer? I don't want to scare her off because at my age, a guy who hasn't done anything is quite a rarity.

2) When I first meet her, what would be the best thing to say? I was thinking of opening with a joke like "Yess, you look like your profile pic and as you can see I am not a fat bald 50 year old guy either!"

3) How should I go about giving out compliments, particularly about her appearance? I don't want to make it seem like I'm only after her looks but I do want to show that I appreciate the effort she's put into herself.

4) Instead of just bombarding each other with facts about ourselves I was thinking that it would be much more interesting and fun to somehow make a game of it, like trying to guess each others backgrounds/playing true or false or something along those lines. Does that sound like a good idea and does anyone know of any good routines or get-to-know-you games that can be played?

5) How should I end the date? Should I thank her for having a good time? I am not even going to attempt to go in for a kiss (unless of course she goes for it herself, then I'll play along just fine).

6) Should I text her at some point after the date (like the next day or something) to say I had a good time and that we should do it again?

Please feel free to share any other information I should be aware of!

Thank you for all your responses, they are duly noted.

A few more things:

1) What would be the best (if any) physical greeting to do at the beginning of the date? Handshake, hug?

2) We agreed this date 3 days in advance and she's working a night shift right before it (though she will still have time to rest), I was thinking whether or not I should send some kind of message the day before with something like 'Have a nice shift and I look forward to meeting you tomorrow' or is that too much?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Congrats on the first date! I hope it goes well! These are just my takes on dating, which is mostly opinion.

    1. Say something like, I haven't dated around too much because I've been focusing on (school, work, whatever it is.) Sometimes being honest is perfectly fine.

    2. The joke sounds cute, if you're a joking type. Forcing a joke can sometimes be awkward. Also, some online daters are sensitive about the "profile photo police" thing, as some guys can be real asshats about the photo not looking exactly what she looks like that day. Maybe drop the "fat, bald" part. I dunno, I could go either way on this one so you should see what the rest of the crowd says.

    3. Saying something like, "You look nice." should suffice, with many one more small, specific compliment thrown in. Try to stick to nonsexual features at first -- hair/eyes/smile. Girls really don't like first dates to be all about how the guy likes what they look like. We do realize that guys are visual and that's why you ask us out, but putting too much emphasis on it makes us think that any girl with our body and facial features is interchangeable to him.

    4. I like using the, "If you suddenly became a millionaire, what would you do?" question. I've also played one where you have to tell two lies and a truth and the other person has to guess. Try not to leave too much "thinking" time trying to come up with something over and over.

    5. You should at least touch her on the arm/hand a few times during conversation and again at the end of the date. Establish some physical intimacy, even without going for the kiss. Say something like, "That was fun. I'd like to get to know you some more." If she says she would too, tell her that you'll call her in the middle of the week or so.

    6. I think that a short text is great, as long as at least 8-12 hours have passed. Try to treat her as you would a casual acquaintance. You wouldn't text a guy you just met dozens of times, even if the two of you agreed you wanted to play paintball or WOW or something the next weekend. But you may text your best guy friend a few times a day. Build up the level of communication between the two of you as it becomes more appropriate.

    7. Also, with online dating, don't be afraid to date a couple of girls at once. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket until you get into the more committed stages.

    Good luck! You sound intelligent and fun -- I'm sure you will find a girl who digs you.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • 1) If she asks you about it, make it ambiguous. Don't make a huge fat lie, but don't tell the complete truth either. May be say like "I've had a few flings here and there, but nothing super serious yet" or something like that :) one reason girls ask guys about their dating history for the most part is because she wants to be aware of possible exes that you might still be interested in. so keep it ambiguous.

    2) Although jokes are always super fun, they can get awkward at times, and you don't want awkward. Just be a gentleman and say how you're glad you guys were able to meet up, and how you were looking forward to meeting her in person. don't over think it and go with the flow :)

    3) I think complimenting how beautiful she looks is always a plus. obviously don't go into too much detail about what specifically you like, but just throw in general compliments here and there. Relating back to number 2, maybe compliment her straight off the bat. be casual about it, like "wow you look great!" or something like that

    I'm not sure about 4 and 5, but definitely text her the next day or a few days after if you liked spending time with her! That way you can also tell if she's interested too.

    Good luck! :)

  • well don't tell her you're a supervirgin...that's a start:)


What Guys Said 1

  • congrats on getting that first date, so did you message her first or did she message you first on the dating site? I assume you did first right?

    • I initiated contact. However the dating site had like a favorite/like thing that you could press to indicate interest, we both did it to each other and then I sent her the message.

    • Show All
    • At first I kept missing the hints/being a bit scared of coming on too strongly but then it finally got to a place where she made it impossible for me not to make a move and when it happened, everything was just perfect.

    • Looks like she is gonna become your girlfriend