Online dating tips, anyone?

Hi! I recently started online dating (again) because I don't meet peope at school or work. Does anyone have any tips? The main problem I have is that some guys (who want kids) keep messaging me, when I don't want biological kids myself (I'm OK with my partner having a previous relationship's kid or two though).

Btw guys, I did wink at a guy, he winked back and I emailed him, because he really piqued my interest. ;)


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1) The most important part of your profile is your photos.

    I know this sounds superficial, because it is. You need to weed through the wrong guys as fast as possible so post something that's recent, but that's the BEST you. Even if you have to have a friend take some profile photos of you until you find that puts you in your best light.

    2) In your profile you should make it pretty clear what YOU'RE looking for in a relationship. Don't waste any time trying to sell yourself because it'll come across as needy or insecure. So if you don't want kids be up front about it in your profile.

    3) Try to express your personality in your profile. The more playful and fun you SOUND the more guys will want to contact you. Obviously avoid anything sexual or angry sounding.

    4) It's okay to contact guys first, even if it means you get "rejected" by them. Sitting around hoping the right guy will contact you is a really passive approach. Men usually face the pain of rejection in the bars and clubs, but online rejection is pretty harmless. If someone doesn't write back then who cares, right? You might have wasted 5 minutes writing an email, that's it!

    Sometimes you have to go after what you want.

    5) Don't ignore Red Flags in his profile and emails to you. This is the most often reason online dating goes wrong... agreeing to meet someone that already sounds wrong. If they sound awkward online they'll likely be way worse in person, so skip them asap.

    6) Make it fun. If you find it stressful or overwhelming then you're doing it wrong. It's easy to become WAY TOO invested in online dating when it doesn't need to be. Instead try to see it as a fun hobby while you're busy keeping your real life busy and social and fun! This way you'll bring relaxed version of yourself to the emails you write and the dates you meet.

    7) When in doubt ask a female friend for advice. They will have the perspective you might be missing.

    Good luck and have FUN!

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

    • Amazing advice. I am upfront about everything: my religious beliefs, not wanting kids, wanting affection, being bubbly (people tell me that anyway).

    • Show All
    • Perfecto! As for the smile... I've always found a No-Teeth smile to be weird and fake, mostly in real life. Like someone is either insecure about their teeth, or just not happy enough to really smile. That's my two cents... :D

    • I have both up though. Maybe I'll change it later, Idk, but the guys seem to like it.

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What Guys Said 3

  • If you have a lengthy profile and a guy just messages hey what's up and that's it then he's probably just interested in your appearance and sex only.

    Now I've made that mistake of saying just hey what's up when I first signed up, but those were not my intentions.

  • Be more aggressive into it.

  • Write a proper profile. If you say nothing intelligent and interesting about yourself, you'll just attract desperate guys and dbags.

    Upload pics, though you've probably done that already.

    You'll probably get a lot of messages. But if you don't take the time to read them, you'll end up missing many suitable guys. But, at the same time, have some qualities in your mind that you're looking for. There's no point in wasting your own time and wasting the time of others.

    • Absolutely. It's hard to sum up everything about yourself, but I talked about career aspiration, interests, etc. Also see my comments above.

    • I agree with bobair's advice totally. But also you should, if you can, ask a male friend/relative for advice too. He'll be able to give you a different perspective than a female friend/relative. Also from the sound of it, your profile sounds good.

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