I'm an inexperienced dater, and to be perfectly honest, women scare me. I need help with current opportunity.

So I've (20) known this girl (21) for a good while and there's been a mutual attraction for the majority of the time we've known each other. I recently asked her out and she said yes, but our plans aren't solid yet for various reasons. But anyways, the closer I get to her the less confident I am and I feel like it's ruining my chances with someone I already know is interested in me. It doesn't help knowing that I'm not the only guy asking her out and getting the opportunity to date her. Someone tell me something that will ease my mind or please give me slap of reality.

I'm also pretty sure this is because I've never dated before. And I know I haven't dated before because of my drop in confidence the closer I get. It's a vicious cycle.


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  • You are one lucky bastard.

    You, first of all, had the courage to ask out a girl. And she said yes! The other guys are none of your concern. You do not have to deal with them, that is up to her. Focus on what is awesome and that is that she said "yes" in the first place!

    The fact that when you get less confident when getting closer to her is to be expected. As you have said, you have never dated. You are moving into unknown territory and that is frighting. You have no idea what exactly is going to happen. There is nothing wrong with that at all. You have to hang in there. If all goes well, you got yourself a great girl! Even if things go bad or it does not work out, you will have learned a lot and next time, you will be more confident when in the same situation.

    You should never "settle" for a girl, because you know she likes you already. Sure it is easy and there is barely any risk involved, but you are not really attracted to that girl. You will enter a relationship for all the wrong reasons. By going on a date with the girl you like, you aren't ruining any chances, because those other girls weren't a good chance to begin with!

    It will also help if you get a clear picture of what the date is going to look like. First of all, decided what YOU want to do. Do not ask her what she wants. You are the one who asked her out, so you have to be the man with the plan.

    Now, the easy way out is a movie. While it is fun and easy, it is generally disliked by a lot of people because it does not provide a good opportunity to talk. I have dated a girl once and we had multiple complaints during the movie because we kept talking :P

    A good idea would be to go to a local cafe and grab a coffee in the afternoon. If all goes well and you are both having fun, you can take the date to a nice but not-too-fancy restaurant.

    I am sure you can think of other first date ideas

    When you have any other questions, ask right ahead!

    I hope this helps :)