Am I smothering her or is it just too late? I need help!

I've gone on a number of dates with this girl I've been talking to and I can honestly say, I can see her as a potential girlfriend. Though lately, I've been getting the vibe that maybe I'm smothering her or she's losing interest. In the beginning she seemed very eager to see me but now she doesn't really express it. We always have a great time when we see each other, great conversation, laughing, touching, but it seems like our conversations over the phone have been becoming less and less frequent. We use to talk all the time, but things changed.

She's been saying that she has a lot on her mind lately since she's looking for new jobs or what not, but they always say, when you like someone you make time. She did tell me on one date that she really liked me but she wanted to take things slow. We talked last night and things got confusing and seemed to have ended on a bad note. We were suppose to spend time together but turned it to her roommate wanted to do a movie night. I can understand where she was coming from, being the third wheel does suck. Though, she seems really weird about anyone she knows meeting me. Should I be worried? I've never liked a girl this much and I'm trying not jeopardize what I may or may not have. Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks

Thought I'd provide an update. I was invited to an outing with her friends and coworkers. I agreed to meet them to better get to know who she is. See her too of course. Long story short, what turned out to be the beginning of a great night and ended up with a great state of confusion. I was somehow sent home due to the fact that her roommate wanted the whole thing to be a girls night and not to be upset with my date as she really wanted to see me. I felt really embarrassed.
On top of that, my date couldn't tell me. Her roommate ended up telling me. This was done by saying she really needed to get her phone which happened to be in my car. My date didn't utter a word, just a simple... I'm sorry. I'm not sure if both of them drinking could've impacted their thinking, but I don't know how to proceed with this girl not to mention if I should even bother further dating her. I haven't called her since. Any thoughts on my bad night?


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What Girls Said 2

  • From what I just read, I don't think it's too late. She's probably still thinking about whether or not she's ready to enter in a relationship with you. Give her space if she asks for it, but let her know that you still care for her. Sometimes, the best approach is to ask her outright if she can see your relationship moving forward. It's easy to get paranoid over these little things when you like someone a lot, so don't panic. Best of luck!

    • I really hope it does move forward. I'll just have to show her that I'm there for her while giving her space. Thanks!

    • You're very welcome! Wish you the best :)

  • Read this: link

    Yes, for some reason (tho it sounds like you've been doing things right), she feels smothered. She feels too secure in the fact that you like her. It's good that she feels secure, but you don't want her to be so secure that she doesn't see you as a challenge anymore. When you cease being a challenge, you are by definition, less valuable to her.

    To start: do NOT go to the movies with her and her roommate. You're turning yourself into a doormat by doing that. Reintroduce flirtation into the relationship! Playfully say that you're only interested in going if it's a date, and you don't want to make her roommate feel like the 3rd wheel. If she insists, again be playful in reinforcing, "Ok babe, have fun on your girls night out. Just remember, you owe me a date next Friday to [X]. I can't wait to see how pretty you'll look. Sound good?" Then kiss her casually on the cheek and walk off.

    That paints you as being assertive, shows her what she can and cannot do in terms of changing your date plans, and makes you seem aloof enough to reignite her interest in what you'll be doing this weekend instead. Hope that helps!

    • Wow, you brought up a lot of great points. I forgot to mention, it was going to be movie night at her place, though I feel like the same rules apply like you said. Your right tho, maybe I have secured my position too much...hmm.. this really gets me thinking. Thanks for your help!

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