Why does he think he can live his life but control mine.

OK! So me and my ex broke up about a month ago and it hasn't been the nicest of break-ups.

We have a child together and one on the way and I discovered he was cheating on me with loads of women. If I didn't investigate we would still be together, because I suspected he was cheating and he lied to me saying "no". Even when I found the evidence he still tried to lie to me.

No my problem is that he has moved out, which he was reluctant to do because he said he wanted to stay in the house because of our child, well he was on the phones with the women and I couldn't handle it and told him to move out, which he did.

Now since he's done that he has become even more selfish than he has ever been and today I asked if he could pick our child up from day care and stay with our child for a few hours.

Now he starts questioning me and asking me "what am I doing" I didn't entertain his question and just was obscure with my answers. He told me he can pick up our child, but cannot look after the child for a few hours because he has plans.

Now earlier today I left the child with a family member and he had to leave what he was doing and come help out because our child was playing up. I come home from work and he asked why didn't I send the baby to day care and I said I planned on doing something after work with our child.

He told me how difficult it is for the family member to look after our kid and tells me if I needed help I should call him. Now I do this tonight as I have been invited to something with someone. Now he starts to backtrack on what he said to me earlier, telling I can leave our baby with a relative.

I become frustrated that he is preventing me from living my life, he will take the child on his day he agreed which is inconvenient for me anyways because he works weekend and can only have the baby after work in the evening 8:30pm and 6:30. Now he said I should plan my life around the time he has our kid and, when I finish work and before I pick the baby up from day care.

How does this selfish fool expect me to go out and date or even socialize. When he isn't prepared to accommodate me?

He thinks its OK for him to continue to dating all his women, but I cannot date anyone because I haven't got the flexibility...I am not even looking to date anyone, because I am pregnant for him again. But I would like a bit of freedom to let my hair down.

But he isn't allowing me to do this! I am not interested in him now,because he surely has let himself go since our break-up and looks like a homeless person, very scruffy.

Can someone please help me find out what his problem is and why he isn't allowing me the chance to move on and leaving me in what is essentially limbo?

Is he trying to keep from moving on, to keep me as an option so when, his world comes crashing down?

Is being a jealous ex, who thinks its OK to do him, but I cannot do me?

I am so angry right now!


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  • If he can't have the child because he's at work then I don't think that could be seen as an issue as long as he's providing/paying for the child (he has to work whatever hours his employers want if he's going to keep a job to support his child and soon his future child too) have you not got any family or friends you can ask to help you out with child care instead of asking his family? If you have set times that he sees his child then just make sure he sticks to them. Him dating women is irrelevant as long as he's not introducing your child to random women, he's a single guy so just leave him to it. As far as him asking what your up to, tell him the only conversation you want with him is over the child and the baby that's due - tell him other than that you would prefer not to discuss each others personal business. Hope it all works out for u.

    • Hi, Thanks for the reply. I know he has to work, that is not my issue, my issue is when he had days off he doesn't want to put our child first and give me the freedom to do my own thing. I left the baby with a family member of mine and he said, I shouldn't do that.

      The thing is he picked up the baby yesterday and kept him, even after he told me he had plans. Which confirmed that he was playing games and trying to limit me from progressing.

      My family member waited hours for him to turn up.

    • Maybe be more strict, get in contact with him and say you want to agree times for him to see his child and organise a new schedule that suits you both. As for being late picking the child up, agree (at the same meeting) that if he can't be on time, he won't see his kid because just explain that when the children get older you don't want them sat, disappointed, looking out of a window for hours waiting for daddy to turn up.