He wants to be with me forever. Please help.

My boyfriend of 4months told me he's fallen in love with me. Then at a later stage, said he wants to always be in my life - in some shape or form if not romantically.

Bear in mind, we were friends before and were crazy for each other for over a year before confessing how we felt. We're each others first boyfriend and girlfriend - I've dated a little before but he's never dated at all until now.

I'm just 21, he's just 20. I love him to bits but I'm worried he's making all these promises he can't keep. I used to not put any expectation on dating or romance to avoid disappointment or clinginess but now that he's mentioned all this, it's made me actually start considering all these long term things. I don't believe in marriage at the moment but believe in long-term partners. He never mentioned marriage but I have a feeling he means that as he's usually worried about being overbearing and overly serious with me.

Is it even possible for this to work out? Do you think he's overreacting?

I'm afraid to feed into it seriously in case things take a sudden turn for the worst. Please help. I need advice on this.

Since, I'm his first girlfriend/date/any romantic partner, I was sure I'd enjoy our time together but expect to let him go later in life as he would become curious about other women at a later stage. What's your input?


Most Helpful Guy

  • My input is:

    - you can't protect your heart from disappointment by building emotional walls. You have to live, feel, love, and if you get hurt, pick yourself up and do it again. Trying to avoid feelings is actually an adolescent/immature move. Its the same instinct that makes people develop phobias. Trust in your ability to get over things if and when you need to.

    - you can protect your finances/life from being derailed by bad decisions.

    - You're young and there's no rush.

    It sounds like things are going well. Maybe you will spend your lives together. If so, great. But there's no rush to get married, have kids, whatever. If he sees a long term future, great, if you do, great. If in 5 years you split up, you'll pick yourself up and move forward. You're not at a point where you actually have to -commit- to being together for life. There's no harm in considering it as a possibility.

    • Thank you for the advice - that makes a lot of sense.

      I do consider myself to be very lucky to be with a guy who is so sensitive, loving and wanting to make a commitment.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You just need to trust him.

  • 'but expect to let him go later in life as he would become curious about other women at a later stage'

    So you went into this relationship expecting it not to last? that's not good at all.

    • No. I just go into relationships thinking "nothing lasts forever" so I have no expectations and don't become one of those clingy girls.

      I expect it to last a few months, a year, maybe even a good few years. But not forever. It's unrealistic in my eyes.

    • well then its time to be honest with him and ell him you don't think this relationship will last as long as he's hoping it will.

What Girls Said 2

  • I would just go with it and take things slowly because you are young and since he is inexperienced things may change. First loves are exactly that, the FIRST love, and they are unforgettable and meaningful but that doesn't always mean they are meant to last forever. At some point a lot of people grow up and realize this.

    Sometime you are going to have serious conversations with him because open and honest communication is imperative in any relationship and you will need to know where you both stand to know if the relationship will work or not. Talk about how you don't believe in marriage, what you both expect in your life, and things like that. Let him know you want to take things slowly and in time you will know what you want, you don't need to make a decision right now.

  • You're both in the honeymoon stage of your relationship. He is enjoying the loving feeling tremendously at the moment. I say don't worry about this yet. Just go with the flow and enjoy the feeling with him. After a couple of years, you'll both be ready to think further where the relationship is headed for. Like he said, he always want to be a part of your life whatever that 'forever' leads to (marriage or BFFs). Just remember that you had been friends for a year before taking the next step and you were both crazy about each other. Naturally, he feels like you are THE ONE so enjoy that feeling together. Not many people manage to go to the next step after being friends only and crazy for each other for a year. Most end up friend zoned for fear it will end badly. Now that you're there, enjoy it.