How do I physically escalate more with the new girl I'm dating?

So I just finished date number one with this hot athlete girl...we're in the same class, but we flirt and hit it off great.

We just had lunch. Everything is great, but I feel like I don't physically touch her as ofter. We do hug and I do play around, but I'm not like physically holding her or caressing her.

I was going for being respectful at first...anyone have any ideas of how to start escalating? I don't want it to be awkward.


Most Helpful Guy

  • My experience, because I'm gorgeous, is that women jump on you first. I don't know what your issue is.

    Not really. I'm kind of average looking. Just felt like messing with you.

    When I'm with a girl I just go for proximity of appendages. Feet end up tangled together, and footsie ensues. Our hands brush as we're walking, and a dose of hand holding breaks out.

    Once your outer limits are crossed, your hands can wander inward. Go from holding her hand to putting your arm around her waist.

    Remember being touched by respectful people. Maybe a teacher laid a hand on your shoulder, your mom stroked the back of your neck, a friend tousled your hair. All of these are fine in a platonic relationship. They're also okay at the beginning of a romance.

    Once you're used to being in contact, talk about the attraction. Make sure you're making eye contact with her as much as possible to reassure her you're there for her. And make sure you're there for the person, not just the sex. Otherwise, don't use any of what I'm telling you.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Well, you were JUST on your first date. Personally, I would feel very awkward if some guy I barely know started holding me and caressing me very early on. I don't know, maybe it's just me and the fact that I like to take things slow, especially physically. But everyone's different, so try to figure out her boundaries. Try holding her hand, for instance, and see how she responds. Now, just because she doesn't respond right away, it doesn't mean she's okay with it. For example, she might weasel her way out of your hand to "check her purse", and when she's done, she might not reach for your hand again. That's a sign she didn't like it. This works with a lot of other things too. Basically just shifting her position somehow and not returning to how you intended it to be. Or just flat out rejecting any kind of touching that she isn't comfortable with.

    Do whatever feels natural to you. Don't force it, because that makes it look like you're only after one thing (unless that's what you want) and don't expect her to like every single thing you do. Try to gradually build it up. Don't hit her like a speeding truck with full on touching on your next date. Hold or play with her hand or put your arm around her. Keep it classy for now, and maybe let her initiate taking it to the next level if she feels like it.

  • don't over think it, just relax and do what feel natural, don't force it.


What Guys Said 2

  • Close in, stand next to her, and rest your hand behind the small of her back whenever you can (like if you two are looking at items at a shopping store or something).

    Check to see if she's got a ring or something on her hand. Ask her to extend her hand to you, accept it while looking at the object and giving her a compliment. Hold onto her hand a few more seconds before letting it go.

    You can do what I did in the past with this one girl (which I didn't even really mean to, but it just happened). We were eating and I noticed she had some speck of her food on her cheek, so I actually leaned over and helped wiped it off with my finger. Actually, I think that was my first move that I made to break the physical barrier with her lol.

  • Its only awkward if you make it awkward! context is everything, Tease her then subtly pat or touch and you say "haha just kidding" or something. Its not what you do, its how you do it. Don't be afraid ...there are more shy nervous guys than "perverts" out there. Ofcourse personal boundaries are important but you can work these out by "testing the water". bad response = too much too soon ect.

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