Confused about what I should do about a girl who is 3 years older than me and already graduated

I met this girl who was a senior in my college around three or four months ago. I always thought she was cute and had a great personality but I thought that nothing would come out of it since I was a freshman and she was going to graduate. Anyway, she got invited to the same end-of-the-year party that I was going to with a school group that was two days and two nights long. I was really attracted to her so I was determined to get with her. Long story short, we had sex four times (it was my first time) and on the last night we cuddled for hours and I really felt that I had developed a deep connection with her. I did not expect this at all. Well then, the next morning, it was time to go so I said good bye to her and went home (I live about 7 hours away from her by car). On the ride back she texted me saying that she had a really good time, wishing me a really good summer. I became really depressed knowing that she was going on to start a new life outside of college and that I would not be able to see her for the entire summer at the very least. This is because she lives about 45 minutes away from the school. Since then, I have had really good engaging text conversations with her but every single time (besides the very first time and a few snapchats), she has yet to text me first. As a result, I have not texted her in two weeks because I don't want to seem clingy or desperate. I just want her to text me first. At the same time, however, I know that when I do text she always texts me back and its usually pretty quick. What should I do? Am I over thinking it? Should I stop contacting her and wait til I have a chance to ask her out or something?

Tl;Dr I developed a really close bond with an older girl who graduated. Won't see her til maybe in the fall because I live 7 hours away. She has not texted first (except once in the beginning) and I do not want to seem clingy. Don't know if I should continue to text her throughout the summer or wait til when I can actually ask her out on a date.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Totally over thinking it. I'm in a similar age gap 'thing' (he's a sophomore and I just graduated college) and at first I wrote him off but the more I got to know him through text and a few few run ins in person, the more I took him seriously. It sucks that you can't see each other in person but don't let it just drop in the interim. You don't have to be in constant contact, but at least talk to her every week or so if you really do want to turn it into something more. If you let it drop, you're right - she'll move on and start a whole new life.

    I wish my guy thought more like you lol. I can't get him to initiate contact to save my life. I even have to be the one to ask him to hangout. You don't want to be like that because then she's just going to be reminded that you're young and hesitant.


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  • Consider it her last fling of her college career.