I really like her but she is not giving much back

I answered my own question I guess, I would tell myself to relax and stop working so hard but maybe someone has some insight that will help me.

I am dating a 24 year old woman who I really like. We have been out three times and the first date was amazing. We spent 6 hours together but we couldn't believe it had been that long. We kissed and said good night.

During the week that followed I felt like I was driving the contact, initiating texts etc and she responded but often left me hanging.

Jeez when I see what I write I can't believe I am hanging around with her. I must be crazy...

Second date which was supposed to be her attending a show I played and then we go out: she texts me a "heads up" that her mother wanted her to attend some birthday party and she would have to leave early. In the end she stayed really late but the next day texted me that she felt bad for doing it because she had let mom down.

In the week that followed, same pattern. I left her a couple of nice messages etc and. I can't stand myself I'm such a dupe...anyway third date I took her bowling and then took her to a private space where we could eat and dance which she loved. But again she felt bad for staying so long and in the week that just passed she has called me once (a first) and we spent an hour on the phone, but no date because she is "busy". Last communication was me asking her to tell me when she wanted to see me.

And here is what I will do, after reading what I have just written: I will do nothing, date other people and not take such abuse again. Like I have said in every single answer I have written: there are SO many girls out there why waste time with someone who is not floored by the nice things I do for her?

If she does come back to me and asks for another date, well, I may come and ask you again. But she hasn't so far.

Thanks for listening and reading. I appreciate it.

If you have any comments please share

Update: I asked her a couple more times for a date and she demurred. Last we spoke was on Monday (I called) and since then there has been no communication. Today, I left her a voice mail wishing her happy birthday but she seems to have lost interest.

She texted me last Saturday saying how "excited" she was about me and what I really have learned from this is that actions speak louder than words.

Thanks again, all



Most Helpful Girl

  • "If you have any comments please share"

    I'm not seeing how she is not giving much back when she stayed much later than she said she would letting her mom down in exchange for you. In my opinion choosing her family over some random d*ck is giving quite a lot and I find her to be the dupe not you.

    "And here is what I will do, after reading what I have just written: I will do nothing, date other people and not take such abuse again"

    I'm not seeing where you took any "abuse". o.O She responded to your contact and she stayed later than she said she would on the dates even going so far as to disappoint her mom.

    "there are SO many girls out there why waste time with someone who is not floored by the nice things I do for her?"

    Perhaps those nice things you're doing aren't what she wanted or asked. If her responses to your many nice messages are lackluster possibly don't send them she may find it bothersome not nice if she's busy or not the texting type.

    • Thanks Pixie for those thoughts it was nice to get an outside perspective and your comments do make sense. I find especially true what you said about her not responding the way I want because I am not giving her what she wants or asks for. Totally true! And I am guilty of trying to get her to do things my way.

      Thanks again!


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • Abuse? Sounds like she's just the type who doesn't initiate anything. I mean, you guys still dated after a kiss, right? I'd presume the interest is there for her, she just doesn't act on anything. Some girls do that.

    ...or perhaps she's a Scorpio. They treat all their lovers or potential lovers like expendable toys. The jerks!

  • I'm going through the exact same thing currently too man (my situation is almost identical).

    This hot/cold bullsh*t that women dish out will be the death of me... and (same as you feel) I feel like such a dupe because of it.

    • Hi Mike,

      Thanks for your comment. Maybe we should talk, I am a big believer in comparing notes :)

      If you are too, send me a message.


    • Show All
    • Message me your number I can't message you cause I am a level 1...

    • LOL number? I don't give out my phone number :P

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