Stuck in a moment of.... umm... Isolation?

In the past..I thought I was no good at picking up girls...

I am always told.. Good body/Good looks/personality /job I am a catch bla bla bla..

I don't take any of those serious and shrug it off quick...

I only relized this has become a major problem.. Because I

clicked.. and woke up..

2 years single... one year no...well...Effection of any kind ...

I recently turn down 2 girls I normally would break a leg , to be with...

I stuck to my guns and said "No , you dated a friend of mine" which

I still think was the best choice...

That wasn't the problem...

Problem was other girls who showed clear signs of wanting me..

It came down to this:

I don't want to share my space

I don't want to share my time

and I have a HUGE issue of regection..

So much so I rather not go out , and be by myself...

This is ...I gathered was due to the bad expereince I had with

another girl.. who pretty much destroyed and betrayed me..

And after 2 years.. I still can't get totally over it...

Now I am stuck in this position.. Stay alone and in control..

and pretty lonely and bored...

Or take the plunge and let it all happen again...

I literally see myself living alone for the rest of my life with my dog.

And not seeing to much wrong with it...

I rather not feel that feeling of betrayal or hurt again..

I have lost trust within everyone but myself...

I tried this online dating.. I got a lot of emails and request from around

8 girls.. I Haven't answered one .. then deleted my account.

sad case I

  • I need to snap out of this and get out and date
    Vote A
  • Staying alone and in control is safer..
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're far from alone with these experiences, in case you feel exceptional. l

    But consider, your dog has only so long to live. True, you can always get another dog, but it will never be the same.

    Wouldn't you rather be with someone you could spend your WHOLE life with? And who could really share in your life the way no dog ever can?

    Sure you risk rejection, but you're a whole lot smarter and more mature now. It's less likely to happen, and you're better prepared for it should a relationship terminate. The break-up probably would never be as terrible as what you endured already.

    That's why you sensibly dropped the online girls. Most likely they bring a lot of baggage, and they are strangers, and you'd wind up with more reasons to stay with your dog

    GEt out there and join some clubs for people with your interests. Dog owners, for example!

    By the time you're 30, your choices have dwindled, and if you haven't found a partner, most people carryry bitterness, resentment, and general emotional scars from unfortunate relationships that ended with a lot of pain and hostility.

    You can find someone to share the past pain with, talk about it, and you will understand each other. Trust me.

    Don't 'date; women, analyze and communicate with them in 'non-romantic' situations.

    • LOL funny thing is I am 31.. I do go to dog owner things... I do have hobbies.. But I just want to be left alone most of the time... I still go to gym.. still take care of myself...

      I just hit a brick wall every time I think a feeling might develop .. Or I need to make a move...

      I do have contact with one or two girls.. Any attempt for "coffee" or "drinks" I avoid like a pro...

    • There's not much reason to avoid 'coffee..chances are these girls are just as gun-shy as you are.

      You can handle it, trust me. It won't be like the prior times, because you've learned a few things. More than a few..

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • You're a male version of myself.

    I think that you need just a little more time to heal. Some might say, 2 years, that's long enough, but it depends on the person. I would maybe seek counseling, spend more time with friends/family (people you can open up to), take up a hobby, and enjoy life more. Love will fill your heart up soon, just have a little more patience, next thing you know you'll be searching again and opening up online dating emails. =) Take care.

    • Got hobbies.. I do them... on...When I see friends .. I can't wait to just get home and be alone...

  • A, you are the one damaging yourself not your past relationship. seems like an excuse to not be vulnerable. you won't date the same girl, just be smarter when you pick the next one and go slow.

  • snap out of it


What Guys Said 3

  • brother do what belgie said and consider this everyone talks about how time fixes everything and how there is more time than life but don't waste your time because that is what life is made out of so begin by loving your life so that you can enjoy your time. I lost my virginity at 10 when I did not know how to even beat off (forced by a prostitute who told me to eat her snatch and told me what to do) the experience f***ed me up I wasn't with anyone until I was 25 and had a nervous break down when we were alone I wasn't even kissed (ever) in my lips until I was 27 so your situation cannot be worse than mine and I got over it. I'm just happy that I can at least enjoy my present so that one day I can enjoy my future. If you do not enjoy your present bro you will not be able to enjoy your future so like many other people will go through life like they never need anyone or like would never die but end up dying without ever having really lived. That is the essence of the tragedy my friend snap out of it.

    • Also you can try a silent retreat place like I did. I was not allowed to talk or look at the person that brought me food (or anyone's) face and was placed I the woods for a while with one of those colored robes. Once you don't talk or make eyes with anyone for like 2 weeks you forget about the phone, internet and everything so you look into yourself and begin to meditate by the third week you feel like budda lol

  • Seek professional help for depression.

  • Only date when you feel like it. Don't feel pressured to.