Cold Message, should I go to this party?

in a relationship for 6 month, started when we were with others (7 years and 9 years). These 6 months have been tough - no honeymoon period, just a lot of arguments as we didn't (and don't) know how to stay with each other. We were best friends before but the new situation brought up our insecurities + he still feels guilty for how bad he treated his ex and feels some emotional attachment, while I managed things far better.

We have been up and down all the time, he admits he is hot and cold due to the fact that he is stressed for work and thought things would be different. 5 days ago he said he is not happy and doesn't think I am the right person. After some talking he said he is not sure he doesn't wanna be with me, so we just kept on going as usual and he said he will see a therapist. Even if he says such things, his actions speak differently - he does nice things for me and always tries to do what I want to do, like seeing each other even if he is really tired and such.

Let's say things are unstable now, but last night he came over and we had a good night, sent each other a couple of texts this morning (started by me, but when he works he is more busy than I am) and that's it.

Now, he quit is job and he has his farewell tomorrow, with all his colleagues in a fancy nightclub in the city.

Last week I asked if I was invited, he said of course! Then yesterday I told him I wanted him to come over at night cause we were not going to see each other until Saturday - he texted back saying sure I will come, but there is my farewell on Friday (meaning: so we are going to see each other before Saturday). Now I really want to understand if he WANTS me to go or if he is doing this for courtesy and not to make me feel bad, alone and miserable on a Friday night (in his mind, cause I can make plans with others). So I texted him an hour ago saying -So at what time is it tomorrow? Maybe I can try to come by...- sounding casual. He texted back saying "it's a 7pm at this place :-)" but didn't really say anything like -you should really come, what does it mean you will TRY- and so on. So then I texted back "Ok. Of course you can tell me if you don't want me there cause if you wanna spend the night alone with colleagues I totally get it, but if you want me to come just tell me. After all, the farewell is yours". And didn't get a reply to that, but he didn't read the message yet.

Did I sound too needy? Should I be offended and not go if he doesn't write back saying that he REALLY wants me there?

I know I sound stupid but this is what being uncertain and unsure in a relationship means...


He texted back saying

"Ihih, it's a pleasure if you come. And there will be many people you know. ".

This sounds really cold to me. Should I say anything?


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  • I don't think you should keep on wasting your time with him. he migh tlike you but he isn't making the effort.