Date gone bad... he's blaming me

Not in a direct way.. but like giving his opinion on me like it's the reason why things didn't work out.

I'm a very shy, nervous person especially around new people. He wasn't very warm and friendly on the date, he apologized for it afterward - I excused him for it out of politeness.. it's not like he can change anything now anyway. Told him it's okay, he didn't even really know me yet so that might be why.

The thing is, he didn't tell me it's okay to be nervous and a bit scared.. while I know it's just a part of me. He even told me he saw I was nervous and that he thinks interacting with people more might be a good thing to do. He doesn't know I go out clubbing and I meet people all the time.

I feel so offended.. and he doesn't know about it. He's rejecting me.. while he didn't even give me a real chance. And he's blaming me for having an awkward date while I think it just wasn't a good match. I don't need his advice, it makes me feel looked down upon.

I'd love some advice, this is making me sick.

Thanks guys, this really does help. He asked for another chance.. but I don't know if I'll give him one.

I left early on at the date, feeling really awkward. He might have been cross at me for it and gave me all the 'advice' to make himself feel better after the date didn't go well. I guess I'll just wait for a more mature and kind guy.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm a little confused what it is you are looking for advice on? Is it about whether you should or shouldn't see him again? Because from what you've posted it's obvious you two aren't a good match I mean he seems like an ass. He's indirectly blaming you for the poor date, he wasn't very friendly on the date, he's already telling you how he thinks you should be doing (telling you interacting with people might be a good thing to do)... And you're right he is sort of looking down on you. By giving you "advice" he believes his opinion is better and that you need the help (you don't give advice to those who you don't think need it...) therefore he is taking a position of superiority above you (almost sounding condescending by what you posted) which means your pretty spot on; he thinks he's better than ya... He seems like he wouldn't take responsibility for his actions or would be quick to place blame, seems like he has some controlling tendencies, and thinks he knows best...If this is how he is when you're cordial imagine how he'll be the first time you have a disagreement/argument. I vote dump him & don't look back lol

    You'll find someone good :)


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I think if he can't give you a chance to get to know you. you deceive better. I respect a shy girl because I'm a shy guy in general, so there's no reason for I'm to act like that its only disrespectful

    I hope you feel better :)


What Girls Said 3

  • I say forget about him. You two went on a date, gave it a shot and it turned out that you two were incompatible. He's being overly critical. It's quite normal to be shy and nervous the first time you meet someone new.

    You are 100% right it wasn't a good match. And to be honest, it's better this way than to have dated him for a long time only to find that out.

    I wouldn't worry too much about it. Forget about this guy, go out with your friends and have a good time. You sound like a nice person, he sounds like a jerk.

    You are better for having had the experience and being able to walk away :)

  • he can't blame it all on you

  • I think you should stay away from him, if he is like tha ton the first date how would he be in the rest of the relationship