Me and this girl have been dating for over 4 months and about a month ago I asked her to be my girlfriend. She and I had a long talk about how she wasn't planning on a relationship and wanted to stay single. She told me that I could leave her or continue dating her... I'm in love with the girl and have been since I first met her over a year ago so of course I told her that I want to continue dating. She recently told me that our relationship is that we are both free to see whoever we want but she choose to date only me and I told her I choose to date only her because if I dated someone else she would be hurt. This freaked me out a bit so I talked to my friends and they say that I should stop paying for every date for fear she's a gold digger which she's not, one suggested giving her an ultimatum of be with me or I leave, or to just let it go and either move on or try the dating other people to make her jealous. I know she doesn't care if I have money and I'm not strong enough for an ultimatum and I can't see someone else because it would hurt her, me, and whoever else I'm dating because I'm just using them. I've thought about it and I don't care if were "exclusive" I just want to be able to hold her, say I love you, and not fear her leaving me or telling me she has no feelings at all. Ever sense then I'm having a hard time trying to put a smile on when in reality I'm really hurt because I can't tell if she likes me or is just using me. I don't understand what or why she doesn't want to be with me but it feels like its not you its me. That makes me even more sad because she's been there for me and I want nothing more than to help her through any and all of her problems just because I want her to be happy even if it doesn't make me happy which coincidently is where I am right now. So my question is what should I do and how do I move forward while keeping in mind that leaving the girl of my dreams is NOT an option?
Most Helpful Girl
I've been there before (but in the reverse scenario), I think you should tell her everything your feeling - all that stuff you wrote towards the end. How you love her (or if you prefer say you have deep feelings for her), and how you can't really be happy because of where things stand between you. That your torn on what to do about it, and don't even feel like you can walk away at this point. Whatever you do don't let yourself get stuck where you are, all your bottled up feelings are and will continue to eat away at you if you don't do something - which eventually could led to lots of regrets and resentments. Telling her what your feeling is the best way to go in my opinion. She'll have to respond in someway! You'll have a better idea of how she feels towards you, and you'll be happy that you were finally able to let it out. It's not an ultimatium, its honesty! And no relationship of any kind can truly function or grow without it. So be honest with her, and allow yourself some self-respect by doing so.0