What is the message behind these types of communication by women?

All the following are experiences I have had recently in a brief relationship, we had 8 dates over 4 months, and I thought were trying to develop a relationship.

You receive a text, which by nature isn't important, say just a "how's your day or your so beautiful etc", and you either never respond at all or respond 2-3 days later claiming you were busy

You get a message saying "hey how you doing? Hope your day is good, what's your schedule let's get together soon, call me" I get a call back but not mentioning this 5 days later

I text happy forth of July and get no response at all

At the end of our last date I ask when she will be off and all I get is I have to work a bunch coming up

After having no communication for 5 days, during which I sent 3 texts and one phone message, I e-mail her asking her why she won't communicate with me etc. In return I get a snotty e-mail saying she isn't refusing to communicate she has been busy? Too busy for a simple text to someone you supposedly like?

I have has something similar happen twice recently any thoughts?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Everything you do right now is driving he away, so I would stop it.

    In general, it is a good thing to follow a "one gets one" rule. You cannot read her mind but her actions tell you a few things:

    Eight dates in two months is not very much, it sounds like she wants a fairly loose connection. And I know you want more. The question is, can you be patient? Amazing things CAN happen if you let things develop by themselves but right now, you are suffocating the relationship.

    I know this isn't easy but if you keep on going like this, it is almost guaranteed you are heading for the end. You need to turn things around and stop talking to her, then maybe she will want you more. I know I am more interested in someone who is a bit unavailable for some reason and most people work this way.

    Again, I know it hurts but you have to do something that will make you feel good. you could take a trip with some friends, or maybe start dating other people, depending on how deep you are into her.

    One more time: no more texts or calls to her, until you hear something back that you like.

    You can do it!


    • Unfortunately it's already over. Your advice is sound and I did try what you suggested. But there were just too many signs early on that the expectation was that the relationship should go on hold whenever she felt she was too busy to deal with it (me) For example she went out of town to a family reunion for 5 days for the preceding 4 days the the following 3 days she worked. So for that entire time there was not contacting her at all. Not even a simple to a singular text to have a good trip.

    • Well it seemed like that was the way it was going anyway. People behave like they behave and it's better this way anyway. But remember the golden rule from now on:

      One (text, call etc) gets One

      In other words, observe closely what she is doing and don't give more than she wants to take.

      Good luck :-)

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think you're talking to the wrong girls.

  • try different things

  • well just change your approach


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