What should a below average looking man do?

Ok, firstly I'd like to tell you that this question isn't completely about dating and relationships. I'm a 28 year old man residing in an Asian third world country. The problems started since day one. On the day I was born, most of my relatives even refused to hold me, saying 'Ugh, the baby is so ugly, unlike his parents who are good looking'. Even throughout childhood, kids at school used to bully me, and call me names because of my looks. This discrimination against me continued until I graduated from University. Even now, whenever I'm out at malls or restaurants, I get weird looks from people, as if I'm an alien. I'm a software developer by profession and have a steady job, but I don't have friends at all. And women are out of the question. When people don't even want to be friends with me (because they feel I look so bad), women willing to date me is out of the question. In fact, I don't even think of dating or relationships. At one point, I even considered plastic surgery to alter my looks, but my doctor told me that it would be too risky, and not really worth the huge cost.

There have been instances where I have become friends with people (both male and female) over the net. We exchange lots of emails, and eventually when the other person asks for my pic and I sent it to him/her, that person immediately stops contacting me.

I always wonder how would life be for good looking people, and that they're so lucky. I never chose to be bad looking, so I don't understand why the society is punishing me for a crime I didn't commit. Forget women and dating, I just want to be treated like a human being, rather than an alien.

I wanted to post my pic and ask you people if I'm really THAT bad looking, but I'm Xper level 3, and I'm not allowed to post links until I reach XPer level 4. And due to some stupid jinx with my profile, I'm even unable to upload my pics to my profile. Please help me out. Thanks in advance.

P.S. I keep myself well groomed, and also maintain good hygiene. So body odor isn't a problem. And I also have a good fashion sense.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You are right.

    Society treats someone very different if they are not in the "norm".

    There's nothing you can do to change how people react to your looks.

    It's the first thing they see, so they react off of it.

    It's ignorant for them to do, but it is how the world is.

    All you can do is keep being the great person you are and hold on to those great qualities you have.

    Eventually you will find someone who cares about you for you, and not your looks.

    When you find this person hold on to them because its hard to find love, yet alone

    true love.

    Keep being strong.

    Everyone in life faces challenges (in different ways, and different aspects).

    Let this build you up and create a stronger person.

    If you allow this to eat you alive then you will lose yourself in the process.

    • Thanks a lot for your sensible answer. By the way, I've given up on dating and women long back. When my own family members and relatives hate me for the way I look, there is no way some unrelated woman would accept me. I just want to lead a normal life in the society. My mom is the only person who really loves me and cares for me in this world. So my aim is to keep her happy as long as she's alive.

    • Then keep cherishing her. It's sad that more people can't see past the exterior.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • Develop an I don't give a flying f*** attitude when it comes to people opinions on you. Confidence goes a long way.

  • he should have confidence in herself and exploit his best qualities

  • Agreed confidence and stop thinking people are starring at you all the time less paranoid

  • Come to the realization that you will end up alone

  • Confidence

  • be confident and funny then you will get girls, try to find interesting things to do and be flirty.


What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!