Should I just forget about it and cut ties with him?

I got a message 4 months ago from a guy on fb. He was really nice. I tried not to judge him on his bad grammar or criminal record(which I didn't find out about until after he gained my trust and heart, he says he didn't steal anything and its not like I can say he did or didnt). He was open with his feelings. We could chat for hours about everything and nothing. He is 19, I'm 17. After a little over a month, he became short, cold and distant. After being about to break up with him, e told me he had somethings going on. a week later he snapped at me. I stopped talking to him. He asked me out. I agreed. He apologized and gave a whole heart felt speech about how sorry he was. said he was falling for me. That he was sorry for hurting me like he promised he wouldn't and regretted ever breaking my trust. Things went well. we got back together. He started with the same things after a couple weeks. I pulled back and he seemed okay with that. After a couple of breakups then makeups, I decided I would give him even more space. I gave him a piece of my mind and stopped talking to the selfish bastard for close to a month. he texted, said all the right things. That I wouldn't be the only one trying this time. Things were back to being like they were whe he first messaged me. this went on for almost two weeks. I was over the moon. Then his uncle died. I made sure he knew that I was there. I understood that. I lost my uncle last year. I gave him space when he needed it. but he was a bit closed off again. he wasn't texting me in the mornings or before bed. he wasn't being the sweet affectionate guy I fell for. I let it go on for about two weeks but I really felt like the universe was trying to speak. He was cold then he stopped responding to my texts nd calls for days. even when I gave him the best news about me getting the internship that he was supposedly hoping along with me that id get. I got scared of being hurt by him again and I gave him a long piece of my time with a 'f*** this sh*t' attitude. I said some hurtful things. the worst part is that he didn't even respond. he deleted me as a friend as soon as I said what I knew would hurt him the most about him not being worth anything. jobless, criminal, failure at life. I feel horrible. I felt horrible saying it but I wanted to hurt him as much as I got hurt. I still love him, but do I just need to be done with him? He makes me so happy at times but has the ability to turn around and hurt me again. I apologized to him in a message which I know he got but he didn't respond. I regret saying those things to him. How wrong was I? What do I do now? How do I get past this?

sorry for the lack of spaces... I was just typing.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You were wrong for coming after him like that by saying all those things but he wasn't doing his part in the relationship either; he wasn't a good partner. When people don't communicate that always leads to problems. That being said, y'all definitely need to have some distance from each other for a long while. Focus on what you're doing and improve yourself. Y'all being with each other is obviously not good on either of you but especially not good on you because he doesn't seem to have much of a commitment to you. He's selfish, it seems.

    But you did the right thing to apologize and that's all you can do. Either he'll respond or he won't. If he does I'd make it clear that you should separate and stress how it'll be for the best. This next thing I'm going to say never helps but the truth is the only thing that can help you get past this is time.


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  • i think you guys shouldn't be together at all

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