Can I get him back or should I forget about him?

I started dating this guy for three months. We were both wild about each other. We even made music together in his studio--it was amazing and made us closer. After the first month he told me never had such a close connection with anyone before and wanted to get serious.

I was a little nervous because we were still getting to know each other and I had gotten out of an 8 year relationship with my ex 3 months before I started dating again. He even thought about having me move in with him.

The sex was great. Our conversations were special and memorable. We really enjoyed each others' company. And I wasn't expecting to find someone like him so fast after I left my cheating ex. But all of a sudden he got scared of the commitment part. He said he didn't know why he felt that way. We kept dating and apologized.

But then, all of a sudden he told me he couldn't handle the fact I had a seizure disorder. He was scared of seeing me have them, even the mild ones where I snap out of it for a few seconds. I'm not scared of my seizures anymore, but I scare others because of it. That's the worst part about having them. My job laid me off for it, until I can get a doctor's permission.

This made him scared to be with me. He said that he felt bad because he wanted to help, but he's resorting to backing off. It hurts so bad, worse than cheating on me. We're still been having sex. I just don't know what to do. I can't help wanting him.

And he also thinks I think I need to be in a relationship. I told him no. That he was the only person I have wanted to date in a long time. I went on a couple bad dates after my break up, just to have fun and meet people. But then he comes into the picture and I can't help it.

I don't feel like it's a needy thing. I feel so close to him, and he's my best friend right now. I don't know if I should brush him off as an a-hole or if there's something I can do to keep him interested in moving forward; to keep him from being a coward?

It's weird because he's a therapist for troubled teens, and he's also in a rock band. I don't know if he's overwhelmed with work and scared about having to deal with my seizures or that him being in a band makes him think he needs more girls.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know the man personally... but my guess is as good as your's - he's probably just afraid...

    I once went out with a girl who was gorgeous, but she had severe depression (worse than my own), and it was scary to watch her transform into someone who I wouldn't even recognize. I still stood by her, and in the end, SHE left me ;(

    Three months isn't a long time but it still is long enough where you two should try to figure something out. Maybe you should be blunt with him ;)

    • He also says it's weird that I'm over my 8 year long relationship already, as if I didn't care about my ex. It was a bad relationship for so long. I had already let go. I started dating my current guy maybe three months after my break up, but I was ready to date again, and he was becoming serious really fast. He thought I wasn't still grieving. I am, but me and my ex left on mutual terms. I was ready to let go. He left me for a woman I already knew he was in love with.

    • Show All
    • Do I sound like someone who NEEDS to be in a relationship? That what he told me and keeps thinking he's just a rebound. It's not easy for me to warm up to a lot of guys. I was just having fun after a long, bad relationship. I was casually dating. Mostly I was looking for friends--and sex of course. I didn't like any of the people I dated. I turned down many handsome men. But when he emailed me I was so excited. It felt like he could read my mind. I didn't want anything serious. It just happened.

    • I'm not gonna lie... you DO sound a little crazy. It's quite possible you FEEL you need to be in a relationship... but after what you've just said, it sounds like you fell victim to karma = You turned down handsome men who desired you, and now, the man who YOU desire is leaving you hanging...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I agree. I don't think he sounds like the kind of guy you want to be with. It's hard when you are in the middle of it but years down the road you will be thanking yourself for moving on.

  • Forget him. Take me instead!

    • Alright. Come visit me baby!

    • Pay me the flight ticket to America. Don't worry though I'll repay you by having passionate $ X with you.

What Girls Said 2

  • I think you can still get him back

  • i don tthink you should stay with him with who he is and how he acts.