How can I fix this? Any ideas??

I've been dating a guy for a month now, he's been really nice, texting me, calling me every day, he thinks I'm amazing, beautiful etc, shares a lot about his life with me, wants to know everything about me, considerate etc. I even found him a bit

desperate but I didn't mind cause I enjoyed his attention. A few days ago I noticed that I've just started to develop feelings towards him and started panicking and started not trusting him. I started worrying that his feelings might have changed and he was going to leave me. I didn't really have any reason for that cause he's been very keen on me all the time (except one thing: I added him on Facebook, and he didn't accept my friend request. I still don't understand this,it was really weird.). The whole thing had become extremely uncomfortable, couldn't eat or sleep etc. so I told him yesterday on chat that I'm a bit cnfused about him. I also told him I took it easy till now but it's been changing and started to feel insecure. And what he replied to this was really shocking. He said we are just dating and having fun together to see where it goes. I was shocked I really didn't expect this. It's just getting mixed signals, very mixed, with extremities (taking it too seriously at the very beginning, being way too desperate and then it turns out that we were just see where it goes? :S) After, he started to complain that he doesn't like the idea that I don;t trust him and is a very bad sign at the begginning of a relationship. I didn't mention the Facebook issue. Then he went offline. Since then he stopped texting and I haven't seen him online at all yesterday which is veryunusual, he initiates conversations every single day. He didn'teven go online. How can I fix it with him? I just think I'vebeen too paranoid andshould have just kept my doubts for myselfor communicated differently. Any ideas?


Most Helpful Girl

  • just give him some time, I don't think it is all over just give him some time


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What Guys Said 1

  • You moved way too fast for him, plus you came across as desperate and insecure. There is nothing sexy about an insecure woman; that's why he's pulling away. And he's right; that's a very bad sign when you're in the early stages of dating. It may be too late to fix this, but if he's still willing to listen to you, here is what I would recommend:

    1) Offer him an apology for creating so much drama. Let him know that's not how you want to be.

    2) Now you need to do some inner work. This will be the hard part, but it can be done. Any negative feelings or insecurity you may feel... just let it go. If he's not the right guy for you, so what? There are other guys out there. Just relax and enjoy the ride.

    One more thing: The Facebook situation is a non-issue. Let that go... Who cares if you're FB friends or not?

    • Thanks. What I don't get here is how was he allowed to move too fast, and I don't, this doesn't seem equal to me? I've always found him a little bit too pushy and desperate, I've never been like that before, I even tried to find excuses how to pull out. I think it was me who wanted to take it easy in the first place, now it's changed.

What Girls Said 1

  • i think you got him uncomfortable by how fast you went with him