Would you ever talk about having kids with someone if you did NOT want to have them with that person?

Long story short:

My non-declared/official boyfriend started randomly talking about having kids the other day. We're not explicitly exclusive (but we haven't seen anyone else since we started dating 1.5 years ago), and last we talked about it, he said he "Wasn't sure" about it.

Guys: please help me understand what he's thinking. It's a serious topic to bring up with someone who you aren't even official with yet, and it's caused me to question where we stand.

Under what circumstances would you (guys) bring this topic up with the girl you're dating? (Example: You're thinking about getting serious/stepping it up, you're considering breaking up if her answer doesn't coincide w/yours, just random talk, etc)

Thank you!


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What Guys Said 1

  • I wouldn't bring it up, but am comfortable talking about it if a girl brings it up. I suppose if I were in the middle of a break up rant and I was like this relationship is going no were, I don't see you and me together in 5 years so I'm moving on maybe something like that could come out if I was being really crass.

    • Thanks for the response. So am I understanding you correctly when you say you'd NEVER bring up the topic under any circumstances? It wasn't a break up rant (seeing as we're still together & have tentative plans for November), so I'm thinking there's some other motivation.

    • I don't want to have kids until after I'm married, so that stepping stone has to be reached before I'm seriously considering kids in my life.As I said I'm fine with disusing it if she's like do you want kids some day, I'll be like yeah kids are great. I want to have 2 or 3 some day just to give her some basis I see myself as a family man in the future. If I'm just hooking up with some girl, there's no way I'm trying to knock her up at that point.

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