Burnt in the past results to bad dating style

So I've been burned a lot in the past, as I'm sure a lot of people have. Especially in relationships. I'm a girl in my early 20s and I'm having a hard time expressing myself or getting close to people now. Every time I go on a date, the guy seems to get the impression that I don't like him or didn't have a good time when in reality I actually did. I thought I was going out with some crazy guys and that's why. But then when I asked a whole bunch of people around me, they all said the same thing. That I'm always oblivious to guys that are checking me out and that when I go on dates with them it looks as if I'm not having a good time and blowing them off. Every time I have gotten close to a guy in the past or initiated anything in the past with a guy, he would shut me down and move on. So now for awhile I just don't see the need to express myself and I'm very cautious. However, now the guys don't think I like them. I can talk about music or work but when it comes down to anything personal or any talk about a future with them I shut down/turn the conversation. I don't do it on purpose but more of a subconscious thing, I finally started noticing It was that bad when everyone started pointing it out to me. How to I show a guy that I generally had a good time without getting to close to him at the same time?



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What Guys Said 1

  • You should always put up a challenge which will satisfy your desire and you can be able gauge his interest.

    • okay thanks! that makes sense

What Girls Said 1

  • I kinda have this problem too. I'm pretty oblivious to when guys are checking me out most of the time. It's not because I don't want guys to be interested, it's just I'm oblivious to it.

    I think the best way to show a guy you are interested and having a good time without putting all your cards on the table is to smile, ask him questions and to tell him you had a good time.

    If I've had a good date with someone, I let them know. I'll tell them at the end of the date that I'd like to see them again.

    If the guy is interested, he will text you, but it's not bad if you want to text him too to set up a second date. If a guy is turned off by that, then it's his loss.

    I've been burned a lot in the past too. I'm one of those girls who wears her heart on her sleeve. If I like a guy, he knows. But that has definitely played into my disadvantage in love. Guys know they have me and then take me for granted and act indifferent towards me.

    The best thing you can do is early on in the relationship is to keep your hobbies. This way you stay interesting to the other person and don't come across as too clingy. Plus if the guy doesn't work out, you won't miss him as much.

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