Do guys expect girls to message first?

I'm dating a guy, we live far from each other so we keep in touch mainly through chat messaging. Recently, he hasn't messaged me for days while he usually texts me everyday. I thought he changed his mind about me. So I wrote him late night yesterday, after a whole day of waiting for him to message me. and he replied, that it's been too long that we Haven't contacted each other, 2 days already. I told him it's because he hasn't messaged me. he then replied that I haven't messaged him either, while he is always happy to hear from me. usually we chat for hours but now he went offline after a few minutes of superficial conversation on how was day at work, etc. then I didn't see him online all day long. he is usually logged in 24/7. It would have been due to sort out our weekend date, travelling, etc, but he hasn't even mentioned it, just went offline quickly and stayed unavailable for the whole day. A week ago there was a problem between us but we could discuss it. At least that's what I thought because since then, he is less likely to initiate conversations. For me, it as a sign of losing interest but I just can't be sure, because he just told me that he was expecting hearing from me and he didn't, and he didn't like it at all. I think there is some major misunderstanding going on here, how can we sort it out? Maybe he is still offended?or just wants to get rid of me?


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What Girls Said 2

  • How about you take the direct approach and ASK! Have you actually met in person, or is this a long distance online dating thing? I ask because you say you normally talk through chat, how about a good ol fashioned phone call? Regardless, if you are in a real relationship it is a two way street. You can't expect the guy to be the one who initiates contact first every single time you talk.

    • we meet at the weekends usually. I don't feel comfortable calling him on his phne, it's just too pushy.

    • How long have you been "dating" and are you in an exclusive relationship?

  • yes he is wanting you to message him from time to time. He said it himself, that you haven't myessaged him either. If he is the only one doing initiating then after awhile won't know if you are really interested or just being polite and replying to his calls. But if YOU call first, it shows him that you are interested because you were the one who initiated the calling.