Dating; I'm doing it wrong - aren't I...

I'm ready to be very frank:

I put myself on online dating. I'm 26, brunette, 5'9 hourglass figure.

So far I have gone on two dates. One with a man I spoke to for a month, the other with a man I spoke to for only 4 days.

With the first man (one month) - he was tipsy by the time I got to the bar. But he was enigmatic and excitable and happy. I went along with it and it was very 'fun'. We ended up kissing, quite a lot actually. This was in between talking and laughing and being 'cute'. He joked about wanting to introduce me as his girlfriend to his friends ~ and what would I say ~ I was looking at him shocked (too soon) but it was sweet. I excused myself at 10:30pm, as I felt it was going fast - then he called when I got home.. He wanted to keep talking - he came to my place (I know - save your judgement - BIG mistake). We inevitably and regrettably slept together. It was very strange after - I expected to not hear from him. But I did. Texts and calls - just not as many. And no subsequent date. So I called his bluff and he came back angry at me becuase he had serious work dramas. Anyway, he wasn't as sweet and nice - and I don't make contact anymore. He hasn't made contact in two days since we had a little text war.

Date number two - was not anything like the first. Coffee and cake. It went for 3 hours. We ended up kissing at the end - but nothing else. He asked to see me again and it's been 4 days with no text.

Clearly - in the first date I gave away WAYYYYY too much too soon and he lost interest. In the second date though, is kissing so bad?

Is it true that in order for a date to 'work' you have to play a game and play hard to get? Even if you want to go with the moment?

  • You're totally doing it wrong. You do have to play a game
    Vote A
  • You're not doing it wrong, keep being yourself.
    Vote B
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What Guys Said 2

  • No such thing as rules to the game. The game doesn't even exist. Players want the nice guys and idiots to think that the game exists, because the nice guys and idiots would never get to know how to play the game. Therefor it favors the players, because they want less competition in the jungle.

    It seems like you have the right skill set for dating. But what are you looking for? Serious-Long term?

    My honest opinion is that half of the guys that do online dating just want sex, and the other half puts a serious effort onto finding someone but are superficial on the other hand.

  • playing a "game" is a bunch of bullsh*t. Gotta be you. If you play any sorta game you won't find a person who likes you truly for you and that's a problem.

    And ya, that first guy is kinda why you shouldn't rush things, but it sure seems you learned that already. I don't think he lost interest, likely that was just all he was interested from the start.

    The second guy could be interested, but just feels it'd be "clingy" or "too soon" to text/call you. If you're interested, text/call him first. No big deal there.


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