Okay sorry this is a little long..I met this guy through friends about 3 years ago. We went on about 4 dates, things went well (we went hiking and canoeing) and we also slept together (yes I know probably too soon) anyways after the 4th date he became distant and said he wasn't looking for anything "serious". But we continued with a friends with benefits I'd guess you'd call it. Our relationship was so hot and cold, we'd fight constantly and then have passionate sex. We never texted about life stuff just sexting. I was not in an good spot. Finally all hell broke loose and we ended things. We both moved on and dated other people for about 2 years. About 6 months ago we got back in touch. We hung out again and yes slept together again, but things are so different now. We talk on such a personal level, he has told me he cares about me but we are kind of at a stand still. I truly believe that this time is different and he actually likes me, but he hasn't said anything about dating. So I am wondering if I should say we've been really good lately and maybe try to be exclusive or I'm done? I don't want to just wonder what we are for the rest of my life.
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Kind of sounds like there is some chemistry there between you two. I wouldn't give him the ultimatum. But you should tell him how you feel, and what you want. If he isn't into it than move on and forget him. You don't want him committing to you because it's the only way he will get to keep having sex with you. And you don't want to date him if he isn't truly into it.
So of I were in your situation, I would tell the person how I feel. I would tell them what I want. Their reaction is going to be much more genuine if there isn't really an ultimatum there0