How do you deal with dating and not get discouraged?

i want someone from my own religion and it is not so easy to meet so I am on internet sites .i am an attractive girl and lately it seems like I just get jerks who like my looks and body and not a relationship. it makes me feel like the only good thing I have is my looks and I am not worth more. I do not sleep with them or anything but I meet jerks a lot. then the guys online are either weirdos or not my type. trust me when I say I am not very picky but there are a lot of weird strange people out there.

in person I get hit on but often I do not meet guys from the right religion and the last few guys I met were jerks and in the end they let me down. between this and no success from online, I feel very discouraged. all it takes is one person but I can't seem to meet that one.

any advice? how do I keep dating and not feel like a complete, undesirable failure? I feel like I am only good for my body. I am a nice person. I am not rude to people, I do not have an attitude, I am not the aggressive bossy type of girl. I never gave my past relationships any problems or anything.

but lately I just can't find that click. and I also tend to like jerks who treat me like crap, I can't seem to find and attract a nice guy. just guys who want to treat me like barbie all the time. makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.


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What Guys Said 2

  • What is your religion, if you don't mind my asking? There are religious dating sites.

    Like Wize Guy said, your situation seems pretty normal. I take it from a slightly different perspective though. There's the obvious issue today that less people identify themselves with a particular religion. Even within those churches though, there is a problem. Some of it is internal, a lot of it is external.

    From what I've observed, people in general seem to be less capable of connecting more intimately with each other. In the churches, the issue is that a lot of guys simply don't step up. That's something I'm currently researching at the International House of Prayer in my area. I'd have to be very careful how I word this, but I think a lot of people (guys in particular) have basically been conditioned to fear their own feelings. Another huge issue, at least I think so, is that Christians don't really understand the difference between sexual attraction and lust. Basically they feel that if they're attracted to someone, they're automatically lusting. These idiotic books like I Kissed Dating Goodbye don't really help.

    Bottom line: There are issues that are fairly widespread here.

  • Your situation sounds very normal. Dating is a numbers game; it takes time to find the right person. Realizing that someone is the wrong person for you can be sad and frustrating, but at least you were smart enough to get that person out of your life. Many people end up married to the wrong person, and they're miserable. The best thing you can do is to be happy with your life just the way it is, without a relationship. Once you can do that, your heart and your mind will be open for the right guy to come into your life.

    When you first meet guys, they don't know you. All they know is what you look like. Looks get you in the door; personality keeps you there. (That's true for both genders, BTW.) There's no need to be in a hurry; the right person tends to come along when you're not actively looking for him.

    • it makes me feel like my personality must suck then

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