Girls, would you ever do this?

I dated this girl months ago and we're in our mid 20s. We are no longer dating but grew incredibly close with each other (hugging, kissing, holding hands, sleeping over). She knows I like her a lot and she says she really likes me and has feelings for me but is afraid to get hurt. Recently, things have picked up even more and we had sex occasionally. We have tried to put a label on what we are but we never make a conclusion. When I called us still friends she got offended and kept focusing on how we had sex and that it means A LOT to her. She says she hasn't been with anyone since her last serious relationship (5 years ago and it was a real bad breakup). Now she asked if we are friends with benefits but I said no and she made it clear that we are not in a relationship either. It seemed she was upset with my answer. I've met this girls family and her friends/coworkers all say that we should be together and we look happy together. Yet, we hung out this weekend and she got drunk. We ended up having sex and it was a mental tailspin. We had sex quite a few times that night and at some points she would go on her phone and text. SHE NEVER HAS DONE THIS BEFORE. I let it go the first 2 times, then I scolded her and told her it was a mood killer. My gut told me something horrible was up. So I kept having sex with her and later that night she started to tell me that she loves me. Which she has also never said/done before. If anything, she's told me she really likes me and really cares about me. She has seemed genuine this entire time with everything she has said, the times she has cried/been upset, etc. Anyhow, when she fell asleep, I checked her phone. It turns out she was texting another guy (some guy she claims who likes her but she doesn't like at all. that is why she says she kept her distance from him and doesn't hang out Because of his feelings). She was texting him saying REAL dirty things (i.e. I wish you could bend me over right now). I am devastated. I don't know if there's actual emotions tied to this or just drunk texting. Either way, the fact she did this WHILE we had sex is an insult to me. I played it cool and all. The next morning she realized some of the things she did. She said she was sorry for screwing with my head when she realized she told me "i love u" MANY times and we went to bed angry (no idea, she just got upset and we stopped things and went to sleep). She then got a text message from the guy and said she was embarrassed over a text message she sent last night. She said she wished she never sent it. When I tried to pry more and ask what happened (playing dumb), she got slightly upset with me interrogating her. Anyhow, I dropped her off home and that was it. Drunk or not, I am furious she did that. How do you claim to have feelings for someone, act all lovey dovey and then hit up another guy?! Thanks for any feedback!


Most Helpful Girl

  • This girl is messed up. She seems to be very conflicted with her emotions and feelings which is a warning sign. You don't want to get involved with this kinda girl. If anything she sounds like a bit of a drama queen too. Her behavior is not normal, and no I'd never even imagine texting another guy while already being with a guy in real life. That's a low blow - drunk or not. Please move on and get a girl who isn't like this. Girls like that give the rest of us a bad rep. There's way better women out there who won't manipulate you like that and give mixed signals.

    • I agree, drunk or not it was a HUGE low blow. I've 'heard' from a friend that she is devastated. She really cares about me and doesn't remember sending the text. She is basically blaming it on the liquor. She ALSO says she has strong feelings for the other guy as well. Mind you, this is the same guy she said at one point she didn't want to be around. So she's been lying to me and also fcking this other guy. Wow, I'm even more furious after having heard this.

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    • It's funny how well I got to know her. I knew she would reach out. She has texted/called/left a voice mail to talk but I have ignored her. Now on my birthday (today), she texts me saying she realized she did what she feared most and that was hurting me. She kept saying from the bottom of her heart she's sorry and wished me a happy birthday. Should I even bother replying back and telling her why (her lies and being a hypocrite) I'm giving her absolute silence or it's no longer worth it?

    • yeah don't be involved or you'll end up the same way

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What Girls Said 1

  • She sounds like a piece of work. That's actually really f***ed up. I would never do that, and I don't think you deserve that.

    Some girls just like to be fawned over. They want to be told that you love them and care for them, but not because she loves and cares for you- because she's feeding on the attention. If I'm right, she's probably been doing the same thing with many different guys for a long time.

    She's manipulating you, I'm sorry. I suggest you stop talking to her immediately and find someone worth your time. It's always disappointing when someone pretends to be something they're not.

    • Supposedly, she really cares about me (planned a surprised birthday party for me next week) and doesn't remember sending the text. I found this out from a mutual friend. She is basically blaming it on the liquor. She ALSO says she has strong feelings for the other guy as well. Mind you, this is the same guy she said at one point she didn't want to be around. So she's been lying to me and also fcking this other guy. I'm 10X more furious now after hearing this...

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