What do I do about my online boyfriend? Should I cut off all contact or stay as friends?

I have been talking to a guy around my age for 2 months, and have been dating for a little less than that (online).

We're both mentally ill and got attached to each other really fast; we talk almost everyday, all day.

Lately I've been trying to push everyone away because of my own mental issues, but he doesn't handle break-ups well. The first time I tried to break up with him, he cut himself and showed me pictures. The second time, he exhibited a suicidal gesture (to save the details). Then the third time, he cut himself even more and even made a video.

I really don't know what the course of action should be with him. I don't know if I should cut off all contact because he has an extreme fear of abandonment, and I don't want him to harm himself anymore. I understand that he's manipulative, but I don't care about that, his safety is my priority right now. He is not evil, he's just too empathetic for his own good.

The better solution may be to stay as friends, but there is a chance we could start dating again and we break up (once again), then he pulls another self-harm stunt. I also want him to improve and get on with his life, so I'm not sure if it's a good idea to keep talking to him.

What should I do to ensure that he's safe and gets better?


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  • I would get his address, and let the cops know his plan. I would break off all contact. He won't be able to heal thinking there is still a chance. He sounds like he is in no condition to be in a relationship.

    • No, police involvement isn't necessary at all.