Is he into me JUST because I'm black?

first time dating a white guy.

I like him a lot but I'm not sure how to determine if I'm some exotic novelty or something! We've been talking for about 6 weeks and in the beginning, I literally did NOT remember the racial difference. But the past 2 weeks, I've made these observations:

- he is a huge fan of pg-rated PDA

- he is constantly pointing out any other interracial couples when we are together.

-He has said " oh that's not really like us, because she's not fully black and he looks Spanish"

- I've caught him looking at other black girls...but never any other race,weird...

- he shows examples of bigoted thinking when he comes to visit me in my predominantly black neighborhood. ( which I think is great that he comes but makes me feel weird when he comments about how HOOD everything is!)

- he said I was not the first black girl he's dated, but then a few weeks later, confessed that she wasn't black but was middle-eastern...right. smh.

Am I just being nervous because its new? Am I over-thinking? Is there even a WAY to determine if I'm just some chocolate fantasy?!

HELP! (thanks much!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey girly,

    Im African and American and I usually date white men...its just how it is. Sorry,but it sounds like there is a possibility that he only sees you as a novelty. I shortly dated a guy like this myself actually. He was white and he LLLLLOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEDDDDD black women! He loved everything from my hair,skin,shape...everything. He would also make comments that I thought were pretty damn inappropriate like, "Don't you just hate when white girls walk around in their sweatpants with some word on the back like "juicy",and they have those annoying little dogs?" Making comments like that would just make me feel terribly awkward because I honestly didn't appreciate him talking about people like that. Him talking about other girls like that honestly disgusted me. He would also frequently touch my bum and make inappropriate comments thinking that talking to me like I'm some kind video girl is what I wanted to hear. After a while,i realized that this guy is mainly into the idea of me being black and NOTHING else. Somehow he was in and out of my life over time, and he still doesn't even really know my last name! (It has been 6 years of him being around but not.)

    Anyway,my advice to you is...FOLLOW YOUR GUT. You are asking this question because you feel something isn't right,and it is up to you to figure out the right decision. Be smart. Everything you have listed here,points to him just enjoying the fact that you're black,and he has some arm well as a novelty.Sometimes people like the idea of things,not necessarily the thing itself. OR...some guys feel its fun to just date the black girl,but they won't marry you.Thats a whole different story.

    But if I were you,I would run FAR away from this guy. I have gone out with white guys before who actually like me for ME. And if this guywas completely into you,he wouldn't be saying some of the comments he has made.BE SMART. Don't mess with this guy...he sounds like bad news.

    • Thanks for BA.I truly hope you don't deal with this guy. It seems like he is in it since interacial relationships are a growing trend.The guy I was talking about in my answer did some of the very sam things you expressed,which is pretty disgusting. But that just goes to show you that he mainly wants you for some weird sense of validation within himself.Dating caucasion men isn't bad though.Don't let this experience mess with you maybe trying to date a caucasion guy in the future.Just be careful.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Sounds like he likes Black women, but now that he's dating you... He doesn't know exactly how to act, he probably thinks... Do I treat her like any other girl or do I have to fit in with what I think she's use to? In the end he's probably just trying and making silly calls.

  • That sounds pretty f***ed up to me.

  • What's PDA? I think he's unsure how to act around you


What Girls Said 3

  • No

    White guys don't consider black chicks novelties/prizes/trophy wives

    He just doesn't know how to act around you which is unfortunate. I'd just break up with him. He's lost and confused

  • Sounds like is not dating you because of your personality. White guys WHO DATE blacks girls just want to try a "new flavor", they NEVER want a serious relationship.

    But, he also could be confused and doesn't know how to act in front of you.

  • he sounds awful,he is just using you.