Texting affair?

I have recently found out that my husband of 9 1/2 years has been both talking and texting another woman. Last month cell phone bill had around 1700 texts. That was just his portion of the bill. Now not all of them are to the same woman but about 90% are. What should I do? I don't think that they have done anything physical yet but I think it is coming to that. Any advice would be appreciated.


Most Helpful Guy

  • An affair is not limited to just something physical these days. Meeting someone online or texting them are just some of the many new ways husbands and boyfriends are able to explore with less risk of getting caught. Obviously however, they hold the same potential for hurting you emotionally as if was physically cheating.

    I think it's best to tell him. You didn't spy or snoop on him, he got pretty careless and now it's even in his phone bill. There's no going around it, you have evidence and as his wife, you should demand some sort of explanation.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I would suggest that this emotional relationship will eventually lead to sex. But if you've caught it before it gets that far, you may have a chance to repair your marriage.

    You don't mention his age but if he's around 40 then he's probably going through a mid life crisis and what's happening doesn't mean that he's a cheat - although he's obviously cheating at the moment.

    Actually if he's leaving a paper trail like that then he's obviously not thinking of it as an affair so you can be pretty sure that no sex is involved.

    Unfortunately, as he's become more and more emotionally attached to this woman, he will have become increasingly emotionally detached from you. That is very difficult to repair.

    I know what I'm talking about because I have been through the exact same thing, which ended when my texting partner got caught. I'm now trying to put the emotion back into my marriage but it's not easy - my wife knows nothing about my text/phone/email relationship.

  • Hire a good divorce lawyer.

    Because I suspect he's having sex with these other girls, and you just don't want to admit it to yourself. 1,700 texts in one month is about 60 texts a day!


What Girls Said 1

  • I would ask him straight out who this woman is and what his intentions are with her. I take it you called the number to find out who the person was right?

    • Since my last posting I have found out that there are two women. The newest one I did a reverse phone number check on and found out that it is someone that he works with.

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