I met this guy we went out on one date. Is he playing games with me?

Okay, so I met this guy we went out on one date, it was amazing, but then he had to go offshore for work for 3 weeks. We Skyped, emailed, chatted, the whole 9 yards while he was gone. He said he couldn't wait to see me when he got back. He gets back I saw him once, we had sex, he refused to stay the night, then the next day he flew to DC for 4th of July with his family. The entire time he was gone I barely heard from him, he finally comes back after 4 days. I get one text from him then I don't hear from him for 48 hours, turns out it was because he was in the Dominican Republic due to a tropical storm about to hit and he needed to prepare his house. (He has dual citizenship btw). Anyways he finally comes back from the DR, we sort out our differences and decide to become exclusive. I saw him for 2 days in a row, both days I refused to sleep with him unless he spent the night, which he didn't. Then 3 days later he left to go to work again. Once again the entire time we Skyped and chatted, I would stay up till 6 am while he was on shift just to talk to him. Anyways he promises when he gets back for the next 3 weeks I will be his and he won't leave the country or state. I saw him on Wednesday, we did have sex, he didn't stay the night. Then the next 2 days he made excuses not to see me. He said it was due to work issues. He promised we would see each other on Saturday. But once again on Saturday he said he couldn't see me and this time it's because he has to go to Washington DC because he has been flagged by the TSA as a high-risk traveler. On Friday I predicted that he would come up with another excuse not to see me, and he proved my prediction correct. There is more back story but I don't have enough characters to type it all out. But I think he is lying to me and playing games with me.

I've put in tons of effort to talk to him, which includes canceling plans, and being sleep deprived. But he can't make any effort to see me when he is home from work. In the total 9 weeks that I have known him/dated him I have only seen him in person 5 times and the total amount of hours is maybe 48! I can't have a relationship with someone who is never around. I broke up with him today, but I'm still just so confused, he acted very indifferent when I ended things.

Was he just playing mind games with me? Why tell me about how he wants to take me out on fun dates and wake up with me in his arms...etc only to have an excuse for why he can't see me this day, and the next, and the next, and now leave the state?

Oh also, on Wednesday, the day I recently saw him, he had already been home for 2 days, the previous days he had come up with excuses again for why he couldn't see me.

Also on Wednesday he told me he is in love with me. But in my opinion his actions and track record are speaking louder than his words...
I originally had this question under relationships because I was in a relationship with this guy, at least I thought I was. We did call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. It also had a different title... Not that this really pertains to the question...

I know I made the right choice, I'm just having trouble understanding what was going through his head I guess.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You are now a women who he can have free sex with when he comes over, I don't know whether to pity you or to be annoyed at your misguided love, no offense here, truth really hurts.

    please please please do everyone in the world and especially you a favor and leave this man, gosh he is totally using you, can't you see? you need a man who really loves you and if he really does, he would have stayed, not for one or 2 nights...for LONGER.

    • I would prefer you be annoyed with me lol.

      I already broke up with him, but I just wanted to see if I made the right decision or not. Thank you for answer!

    • Dont worry, you did the right thing! You deserve better :)

    • Aww thanks, hopefully I will find what I deserve!

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