Is he just scared about college?

My ex boyfriend at least liked me for a good four years before we started dating. We used to be really really good friends, in fact he was my best friend. I realized I liked him as well and we dated for a year and four months. He broke up with me about a month and a half ago and the time frame he started questioning what he felt for me would place it right around our graduation from high school. He broke up with me after a two week trip to Europe. He definitely still loved before he left for Europe. When he goes to college, do you think he'll find himself and find me again? He really honestly wants to still be my friend and cannot see me in his future more than that. I know this is really true because we have a very good mutual friend. I know that what we had was real love and anybody could see it. We were able to open each other up in ways that nobody else had as well. When we were dating he said the one thing that I didn't have to worry about was him breaking up with me. He's not a liar and he says he cares for me, just not in the same way he used to. Do you think he may come back?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well it's quite possible that he wants to get his wild side out. Plenty of people want that wild college experience, and he won't get it if he's in a relationship. This is pretty common, people who date in high school get a bit worried that they won't get to find out what else is out there if they date through college and so they break up. It's much healthier in the long run if the relationship does continue eventually, because they were able to get that urge out of them, as opposed to dating through college and then regretting never having tried other things. When people are young they get restless, they want to experience new things. All of the people I know who dated in high school and ended up married broke up at one point and then happened to get back together later, they didn't plan it.

    So yes, he very well might come back eventually, but I wouldn't wait around for it. Put yourself out there, try new things. If it's meant to be, it will be. But don't waste your life waiting for him to live his.

    I know it's hard to hear, I was in what I thought was a pretty serious relationship in high school. But the large majority of high school relationships don't last, and they aren't really meant to. You're young, emotions come and go easily and infatuation is often mistaken for love.

    So stay hopefull if you really think this guy is the one for you, but don't let that hold you back from living. If he is the one for you, it will work itself out eventually.

    Hope this helps. Feel free to msg/reply if you need anything else. Good luck!

    • I am not planning on not moving on from him, in fact I already am but it's going to take a long time. I honestly want him to be happy and I know I would be extremely happy if he found the spark he had for me again later on because I really do think that he's the one. I thought about that maybe I trusted him to make the right choices but maybe he didn't trust himself to. He stopped partying when we started dating because it wasn't something I liked. I think he needs to live again and so will I.

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What Guys Said 1

  • What is the exact reason as to why he broke up with you, did he get bored? does he think he can find better? does he have no faith in relationships? did he think your not someone he wants to be with in the future?

    Many times people break up with you and you don't understand why, that most definitely means they don't know why either, you need a lot of communication between the two to find out the real reason why, maybe its from your side? maybe its from his side? we don't know and if you don't know either I really doubt anyone can tell you in detail whether the reason for the breakup will allow for you both to get back together.

    • He doesn't honestly know why he doesn't love me the same way anymore so it's kind of a hard thing to address. He wanted to love me that way still but just doesn't. Right now I am not prepared to be his friend because I am heart broken so I can't talk to him again for a while. I definitely don't want him out of my life and neither does he. I honestly want him to be happy but I know I would like it to be with me in that way.

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm in the exact same situation right now. We only broke up a week ago but we're both moving away to university and with my luck, he has ended up at the same one as me. He said all of those things that your ex said to you "no chance of him ending it" etc. I have wondered the same things, as he used to be a bit wild and enjoyed going out for a drink. When we broke up, I was the one that went away for two weeks. When I was back he dropped the "I don't love you anymore" line on me and it was over after that.

    • It's weird isn't it? especially if they are truly serious about it. I believe, at that time, he had absolutely no intention of breaking up with me ever. He thought that I was the one just as much as I thought he was the one. Maybe let him party and stuff and when he realizes that it's not any better than what he was doing back then maybe he'll think that the life he had with you was better and be willing to give it another go? But the relationship will not be the one you had before, be careful.

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    • Maybe give him space. Make it so it is different. Basically acting like nothing is different and hanging out all the time may make him feel okay with his decision but maybe being out of the picture for a while may make him miss you? I don't know it's just an idea I've gotten from other people and I haven't talked to him in over a week. I have no idea how he's feeling about me right now but I'll find out what he thinks of me being gone when I talk to him after I've healed.

    • I'm giving him the amount that he wants and he's the one that keeps contacting me first, so I'm not sure what I'm meant to say to him if he messages me and I cut him out completely. We had a chat last night about us and he said that he would never take me back because I've made him a fool before by promising I would change and then not doing. I said I had changed this time and asked that if I can show it's permanent, then would he give me another chance. He said "probably not".