Should I just give up because of so much rejection?

Here's the thing I'm 23 and barely any dating experience.

I've had about 5 dates from online and all have them have been bad where the guys didn't like me and I was rejected they either stated indirectly how they weren't interested on the date and/or never texted me back. I don't understand I gave them pics and talked to them via text and some on the phone and I am decent looking average at least even though I'm a little overweight.

I had a pof account last year (4 dates)...this year after again having no luck in guys asking me out in real life I went on it again. Now I'm really only talking one guy on there. We've talked on the phone once/twice and have been texting for a month or so.

He has asked me out but I keep postponing it because I got rejected by a hot guy from online end of June/beginning of July and it still hurts because he was such a jerk about it and I'm sensitive I cried for days after and even poured my heart out to my girlfriends (they however think I've had 2 boyfriends).

I have never kissed a guy though. I'm such a f***ing loser.

I'm trying to be confident and don't tell people about my lack of love life. Anyway I went out yesterday and this online guy asked for a pic of me out and I sent a casual one in casual clothes but my hair wasn't done or anything butI had nicemakeup on. He basically thentold me the pic was nice when I said it wasn't before.Then he asked me what myagewas even though I already told him amonth prior. Itold him that and he never replied until thenextdayand said 23, right.Stupid since he already knew:S and thenstopped txtingme completely.

The guy is 6 years older and just okay looking and not the career would want in a long-term guy. However, I need to get my "needs" met and learn how to makeout and all that stuff so when the right guy comes along I don't turn into an awkward shy puppy dog again and know that I deserve that guy.

I don't want to hear answers on how the right guy will just come along and not care that I don't know how to kiss etc. I don't want to be with an inexperienced guy myself I like outgoing and decent looking type of guys. I need specific steps I can take to date and enjoy my time and not keep getting rejected. I have lowered my standards with this recent guy, should I just lower them EVEN more and go out with a guy I'm not even the slightest attracted to?

PLEASE HELP ME. I've even tried reading a book and random articles on flirting/youtubing all this sh*t but nothing really helps:( however no guy has flirted with me on any date I've went on AT ALL.

What's worse is I have pretty girlfriends and they always getting approached in front of me and I'm just standing there trying not to scream out the top of my lungs "what the hell why not me?" I know its not their fault, I'm not pretty enough:(

I'm actually trying and putting myself out there. I invest in makeup and clothes and do my hair and still look mediocre I guess because one of my friends (from online) said I looked plain j


Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of people understand exactly how you feel. I don't know what your problem is without talking to you, or seeing a picture of you. I can make some suggestions. Hopefully something might help.

    Your dating profile might need work. On online dating when the woman lists what she wants in a man, guys are more likely to read that as a minimum requirement instead of as a preference. So if you put you want a guy that is 6 foot, and a guy is a couple of inches too short he will assume you won't be interested, and won't bother contacting you. Or if you put you want an educated man, and the guy only has a high school degree, he might think you only want to date a college graduate. So make sure you don't sound like you are excluding any guys that you would be willing to meet, by only listing your dream guy qualities. Also a lot of women sound down right hostile towards men on their profiles. They say things like "Prove me wrong about men!" Or they rant about something men are doing. So you might need to work on your profile.

    For every message you get from a guy, he likely had to send out several others, just in the hopes of getting one reply back. So these guys could be talking to several other women. So they might be finding someone else before making a commitment to you. If you are waiting too long to meet up they might move on.

    A lot of guys are so shy they will avoid meeting any woman they contact, so don't get your hopes on any one guy. They may flake out on you. Keep talking to several at a time until you actually start going out. You don't owe them a commitment just because you talked online.

    I would suggest you widen your net and contact older guys, younger guys, white guys, black guys, tall guys, short guys. Just really try and keep an open mind, and contact a lot of different guys.

    "should I just lower them EVEN more and go out with a guy I'm not even the slightest attracted to?" Yes you should go out with a guy you are not attracted to. I know a lot of men that do this when they are going through a dry spell. It helps men to build up our confidence, and gives more experience since it increases the ease of getting a date, and it helps teach how to deal with different personalities of women. It isn't like you have to marry or even have sex with these guys. Just meet them in person and talk to them. They may not be what you want physically, but it will still help you learn the social skills you need. Besides some guys might surprise you once you actually meet them in person.


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What Guys Said 2

  • First , your outer beauty is usually not what makes you beautiful. Yes we are all attracted to outer beauty initially but self confidence will get you a lot further. What makes a person attractive is self confidence itself.

    Second you need to make yourself approachable. You must make eye contact, smile and flirt a little. You have to make yourself part of the mating game.

    Third, don't be afraid to approach guys yourself. Yes you will get rejected, but us guys go through it all the time. Not that big a deal.

  • There's a couple of things you can do.

    The first thing, lower your standards:

    Unless you look like Halle Berry when she was twenty, the six foot two, ripped, doctor with a ten inch **** who is probably talking to nine other smokin sweeties is probably not going to hang around for long (no pun intended).

    The second thing you could do, make the approach:

    It's not easy just walking up to a girl at a bar and starting a relationship out of thin air. If you see a guy you like talk to him. Don't be afraid of rejection.

    The third thing you could do, be more social:

    Meet new people, join a club, try a new sport, join a new gym. Put yourself in an environment to meet new people and thus increase your options.

    • I've done all of the above. :( K just forget it.

    • If you quit you'll get nothing. Dating's not easy, finding the right person is hard. I'd rather spend the rest of my life looking then be a home alone watching movies and wondering what it would have been like.

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