Can someone please explain to me why?

Why is it that when guys are dating woman some of them ...well it seem like all of them have a hard time saying no? For example.. If a woman that you like initiate and you cannot go on a date because you already have plans with the guys or you are going to be busy why can't you just tell a woman I am going out with the guys or I am just busy? (sorry about run-on) It seems like every guy I have dated try to delay their answer and when I don't react they check on me. I guess they assume I might reject them or look for attention somewhere else? Do you ever have a hard time saying no to a woman that you really like? This seems to be a problem every time and I have to tell them that I understand and there is always another time. Its like they are afraid of being straight forward with me or them being rejected themselves.


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What Guys Said 1

  • This sounds more like a personality quirk and is probably more likely a quirk typical in the type of men you would like. From a basic attraction function a lot of people "complain" that the people they find interesting tend to have the same behaviors ... Curios, huh?


What Girls Said 1

  • My experience is that guys get turned off when women propose things. Some more than others. Men need to feel in control. They need to feel that they are the ones asking out and proposing things. Its part of their masculine hunter yang nature. They need to feel in control (eventhough they are not), the moment that illusion is taken away from them its humiliating for them.

    Also guys separate aspects of their life. When a woman thinks 24/7 of a man she likes that man thinks of her maybe one hour a day. the rest of the time he eats, goes to work and meets his buddies. The last thing on their minds is being curteous and respectful to a woman they are not that interested in. So take your time and don't ask out, don't rush things, don't do anything except go out and socialize meet new people online or in person and let them come up to you and propose things. If they are not proposing things improve your flirting and your compliments and your behavior in social settings but don't take initiative with men. even if you are gorgeous looking, bright rich etc, men hate it. Let him do the work let him be the man.

    • Hmmm? Yea he initiated in the beginning, but don't you think things change a little once you both have sex? I wish I can tell you the whole story but without a doubt we both reaalllly like each other. You hit the hammer on the nail when you said he may think about work (he works and athlete) most of time. He has a goal. I don't initiate a lot but I believe sometimes a woman should to show they are still interested. I know how far to go. I initiate and then let him do it the next..2 months passed

    • You are probably dating a really really masculine dude who needs to be the initiator all the time. Some guys are like that. Also men assume that you are head over heals under their control once they have sex with you (most of the time its true) but this is where you take as much distance from him as he is taking from you and the bastards do that to test you in a way and see how you'd react. Don't ever give him the satisfaction of having you under his control. Ever!

    • I got you. You have me thinking. Before we had sex (we waited at least 5 months) his member was not working if you get what I mean. Before I left the next morning he stopped and we had sex. It was enjoyable. He said he didn't want me to go without him being able to share it with me. He wanted to give me something to think about. Believe me...we are both not playing games. We told each other we like and miss each other. I just try not to think there is another woman when he is really focused.