How do I know where I stand with her?

I recently moved to a new university and met a girl who's one year ahead of me in graduate school and am taking a class with her currently. She gave me her number and we had lunch but she offered to pay for her share after I had already paid for both of us. Although I really enjoyed talking to her she later texted me to apologize about 'being negative' about life in the university which I didn't feel was the case, and thanked her for the company and told her I'd wanted to talk to her for a while but hadn't the opportunity till then. But she didn't respond to my friend request on Facebook and I'm not sure if I should ask her about it. We've studied together and she always lets me copy her lecture notes when I have a clash in my schedule and can't attend the lecture (which is really nice and I appreciate a lot), but so far it's always me who initiates contact, although she did share lots of information with me and brought me to new places I wasn't aware of in the university. My one and only trick of getting a girl to do me a favour and then buying her dinner to get things going isn't working this time and I can't seem to get through to her. After a week I don't even know if she is single (there wasn't a natural time for me to ask the question and not sound awkward), which isn't good. I also mistakenly sent her a text message intended for another friend about good places to study on campus at 2am after she brought me there earlier that day, so I guess that is not the best impression I could have made in the first week of knowing someone. I love her smile and she oozes a sort of (smart+)sexiness that makes me rather intimidated and I'm not my usual relaxed self around her (departments like the one I'm in tend to be sausage parties). I then invited her to join me to view an art exhibition next week and, not knowing if she is single, I offered to call a mutual friend along if she has a boyfriend and make it a group thing. But she hasn't replied me and I'm afraid she might see me as creepy or coming on too strong. I'm hoping it's just because she's busy, as graduate students often are. If that's the case how do I salvage this situation? Do you think she's just trying to be nice to me and only wants to be friends or even just academic colleagues? How do I tease out if she is open to something more?

I just found out she had a restraining order taken out against another course mate whom she used to study regularly with. I'm not sure I dare to study with her in future anymore. She also told me today she's not interested in attending the exhibition with me and suggested going for a movie with several other friends instead, while not wanting to reveal if she's single. Guess she's not interested in a relationship and wants lots of distance put between male colleagues and herself now.


Most Helpful Guy

  • if she is older than you its likely that she only sees you as a friend because girls tend not to like dating younger guys.

    • We're the same age, due to my previous military service I lost a few years there. But you're right, she probably doesn't want to date someone behind her academically.

    • ah well being behind her academically isn't really that much of an issue so I would say you stand a good chance with her if you open up to her

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 0

Be the first girl to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!