Women - Can you please explain this?

This is something which I have wondered since a long time. Why do most women date men based on ONLY two parameters - looks and money? Don't they understand that both of these can be temporary? Like everyone becomes wrinkly with age (unless they use botox or something, I'm not getting into that), and there is every chance that any rich man's wealth can reduce. I'm not saying ALL women are like this, because there are always exceptions. But the 'good' women are already taken, married or lesbians. So why do women prefer to date ONLY rich and good looking guys, even if that guy happens to be an alcoholic, drug addict, rapist or murderer? Is there absolutely no value in today's world for men having a kind heart and pleasing personality, as opposed to men with good looks and deep pockets?

P.S. It is not connected to my life in any way, and I do get approached by women often. So please refrain from saying stuff like 'you're posting this because you're butthurt due to your inability to attract women'. This is just a general question. Both men and women are most welcome to give their opinions.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe the question should be what kind of girls your looking for or what type of girl you attract. Of course not all girls or women care about that and if that's your problem maybe you should be looking for other types or not show something in yourself to attract those types.

    • I guess you didn't read the last part of my question. Its not related to me in any way. Its just what I've been observing with respect to people around me. I've been out of the dating scene since almost 4 years, and will remain that way for a few more years. I'm too focused on my career right now, and I don't really have time for women and relationships.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I can actually answer this question definitely. The reason why women choose men based on their looks and their status is because those are the two elements primarily visible before you get to know someone. In dating or partner matching the ironic thing is that before you even say "Hello" you are have your first impression so when a person is successful and healthy they are far more attractive than a person who is not.

    People are only attracted in real-time meaning that they cannot project that far ahead so if a person is wealthy today with no clear indications of being impoverished tomorrow humans are literally bound for the most part in real-time and incapable of combating this so foresight is all but lost. The same is true of males; they are attracted to the hot-to-trot 20-something who will age regardless of how s/he feels and will deteriorate in beauty.

    Contrary to popular belief this first impression really isn't your last; the good looking, rich male can very well be single and a lot are because of the issues you brought up such as being a degenerate or an addict. Not all of them are truly invaluable gifts to women. This also works in reverse; if you are around a person enough, for instance, they may see your personality and despite you not having wealth or looks may fall in love with you. Behavior is the largest predictor for success in a relationship but in relation to attraction the other "clearly visible" elements are the mainstay of the functionality.

    All humans are like this as we're hardwired to be. Despite all the nonsense campaigning we, as humans, aren't wired to look at the "good heart" immediately. However to be honest there is no way to see who is and is not good immediately except through deeds and many of these "kind-hearted" people tend to be shying away from the public light so they aren't out volunteering with their "good-heart" and instead are sitting on the couch wondering why no one knows that they are "Mr Right". Another thing that rich people tend to do, even without publicity, is act overtly. This means that in essence you'd be one of many trying to sell a product that no one can see. No one is buying because of this. Not you personally, but the idea of a good personality will always SOUND good on paper, as an "of course" and "no one is really like that" ( because they aren't in practice ) however in real-time it's nothing of the sort because you cannot see it. Unless there is a tickerbar over people saying the good or bad deeds they did that day you can't tell who is or is not malicious.

    • You seem to be an expert in this matter, and your words make perfect sense!

    • Nah I'm just crazy.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • Because parents messed up this generation's batch of women and taught them to act in such manners. We now have little girls dressed like sluts and single parents are a dime a dozen. Nobody's responsible anymore and the ones who claim to be are money hungry liars who will tell you they are independent, living alone, and have a good job(which is just them collecting their ex-husband's check).

    Girls will swear up and down that they aren't obsessed with money. link We all know the truth.

    It's easy to love someone when the person has it all. It's a true love to care about someone when times are tough. The challenge lies in finding that one woman who makes swimming through all the trash worth it.

    • We women could say the same thing about men and that all they really care about or want is big t*ts or a tight ass and a nice face. That's as far from the truth as your statement. I see you like to blame the women in everything. From the way their raised, Mothers fault, or single moms because the men don't step up and be dad's. You sound very unhealthy.

    • Actually my motto is "girls are many while mature women are few." I'm extremely healthy and my life is great. Having the smarts to keep away from the women I described allows me to have great optimism. Your comments are the typical example of girls I avoid so that I meet a mature woman while not having to deal with all the problem ones. Whenever I meet single moms, they're the types of girls who go out partying, get drunk and high, and so on. I think we know who is at fault.

    • I liked this 'It's easy to love someone when the person has it all. It's a true love to care about someone when times are tough.'