I feel like I'm falling behind...but I know I'm normal...it's complicated.

To help you understand a little, here's my background. I come from a small town with some of the old fashioned values still lingering.

Now, my town has progressed enough to where everyone (male and female) is pushed to pursue higher education and where everyone should have a job and both spouses work, so that's not an issue.

However, they still value marrying young. Which, growing up, I didn't realize was still a thing, but in my town, apparently it is. And by young, I mean that it's not unheard of to get married as young as 17 when you're still in high school.

So, I have a number of friends and family members who have married or are engaged and are younger than me and it's kind of irritating me even though I know, according to the rest of the U.S.A., it is perfectly normal to be my age (20) and be single or just dating someone.

I've had multiple friends get married and they were 17, 18, 18, 19, 19, and 20 when they did so.

Additionally, I have friends who are engaged and they're 16, 17, 18, 19, 19, and 20.

They also didn't date for very long. One friend is engaged (she's 20) and they literally dated for 48 days before he popped the question.

I've been with my boyfriend since I was 16 (I'm 20) and people have been asking when we're getting hitched ever since our six month anniversary. They tell me that if he doesn't ask soon, I'll be alone forever. Just little nit picky things that shouldn't bug me, but they do.

So I'm feeling left behind here. But I know I'm normal for wanting to get married at like 24/25 but at the same time, I'd be considered a freak of nature in my hometown for doing it this way.

So...I don't really know the question...what do you think of my town's views on this? What do you think I should do about it? Move out of town?
Five of my friends have kids already too.


Most Helpful Guy

  • so you have some small town values. OK. have you looked at the reasons for those values? it might make more sense. it is your life, but it is also your bf's and your parents. if you and your boyfriend are having sex, you could be shaming your parents. his too if they are that way. wanting to wait to get married for what exactly? is he going to hold you back because you are married? or are you afraid that someone better might come along and you'll have to pass? in the rest of the us, plenty of things are tolerated. if they have to be tolerated, they aren't good. I'm not saying that waiting to marry is bad per se, but the older women get the more complications there are when it comes time to have children.

    • I'd be waiting only four years. I want to finish college first. No one better is going to come along. But apparently finishing college before marriage is unheard of. And no, he and I are not having sex. We're virgins.

    • Show All
    • he must be one he! of a guy. I was trying to get a girlfriend in elementary for this reason.

    • Haha, I mean, obviously he wants to have sex. But we were both raised with the belief that you wait for marriage so he's content with waiting. If that makes sense... I promise he's WAY excited for our honeymoon ;) but he agrees with waiting till we're both done with at least our bachelor degrees before we take that step. We need to have a way of making a living if we're going to get married :p

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  • Figure out that other people's opinions about your life are sh*t. Have the confidence to know that you're doing the right thing for your life and be willing to stand up for your beliefs.


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