After first date, I still haven't heard from her. Should I keep trying?

Had a nice night with this girl I've known for the last few years while we were in college. She commented that the place I took her was one of the nicest Italian restaurants she had been too in LA. When I drove her home I walked her to her door, and when I started to say I had a great time, she invited me in. When we walked inside her roommate was there in the living room watching TV. We all talked for a few minutes and then she said she was going to go to bed.

I asked if I could call her tomorrow, she said yes and we hugged and I left (her roommate was right there and it didn't feel right to kiss her).

The next day I called and left a her a message asking her to call me back. Later that night she texted me saying she got my vm and she was going to bed and wouldn't be able to call me that night. I texted her the next morning and said it's cool call me today after work when you can. Three days later and I still haven't heard from her.

During our dinner I did say I would reach out to a colleague of ours and see if I could get her an invite to an event next week. So today I texted her and said, "Hey heads up, BLAH BLAH's event has been changed to next week, and he said you're more than welcome to come." Didn't hear back from her.

Overall I don't care if she's not interested, but I want to still be friends and maintain a professional relationship since we are both in the same industry. If I back off for a while is that possible?

She just texted me back say: "Thanks, she asked BLAH and it sounds kinda like a sh*t show hahahaha I'll probably just go home and visit my family." Keepin it casual. I shouldn't even try to ask for the 2nd date should I? She never called and we were doing all of our date related stuff over the phone.


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  • I would let time pass before doing anything. After a few weeks see if she has called you. If not then give her a call but don't ask for a second date. Try to keep the friendship.

    If you really want to know what is going on though... give it 2 weeks and then call and chat if she answers. If she does tell her that you are confused and see what she has to say.

    Good luck!