What to do about these guys?

I never get asked out or kissed even I'm 23... always rejected after online dates. I' ve read books YouTubed, artic;es all that stuf on dating. I'm decent looking I think at least average but these experiences make me feel like a -2 out of 10.

I need advice on the following. How do I deal with these guys? I just want to get my first kiss over with not looking for a long-term thing. But don't want to sleep with a guy unless I'm in a short or long term relationship.

I had a free dating account... closed my last account a few months ago but still ended up texting a guy for the last couple months. Let's call him Aaron. He seems nice, funny and I totally lowered my standards because he doesn't seem as ambitious he's almost in his 30's and now enrolled in university to get his sh*t together. He wanted to meet up a lot when we talked for the first month or so but I kept saying I was busy which I was but basically I was too scared to go on a date because of how mean the last guy was to me. Finally I'm ready to meet this guy. Last week we finally added each other on Facebook. He seems like a hot party kind of guy and I'm not. I'm pretty much inactive on Facebook but I don't look anti-social or anything I have random tags with friends in pics and posts. I told him I'm not really active anyway. Since that happened he's stopped talking to me really. I'm the first one to text him, its just not the same tone as before. His responses used to be instant and now there's like an 6-24 hr delay and I know he's using his phone because on whatapp he's online frequently. The times I did text him first he would always reply "Hey beautiful/gorgeous" but now he just just says "hey what's happening?" or something like that.

Jack - Then I met another guy in person last week on the train home at night. He was a bit intoxicated but we talked for a bit a guy in real life actually asked me out lol Anyway we tried coordinating plans and he is saying the place I'm saying to meet is too for away for him like 25 min or more. I'm like I don't have away to go further right now. He said he'll message me after a certain time 2 days ago and he never got back to me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You made two comments in a sentence that were you, judging the guy

    "... I totally lowered my standards because he doesn't seem as ambitious he's almost in his 30's and now enrolled in university to get his sh*t together."

    No one really likes to be judged by someone else, especially someone that the guy has to choose to call back.

    When you talk to guys, how often does conversation come up that leans towards getting their sh__ together or lowering your standards. If you hint at that even once, it's probably a big reason the guys don't call you back. You can try to avoid talking so directly, but if you think that way, it's likely to come out.

    Perhaps you could try to be more positive and encouraging. The prospects for instant success in work lately is tough, if you hadn't noticed. It is not really caused by the guy trying to get a better education. Where do you get the funds that allow you to live? If it's totally earned, fantastic, but often men are faced with totally earning their way without any support. Try to imagine a lifestyle where you have to do that and be more appreciative of someone trying to pull it together. It possible that a guy might be working 4 different ways with school and job prospects and with your quick review and conclusion of him not having his stuff together. He may not wish to lower his standards to take you out.

    Be more magnanimous towards others and respect the guy and he will return the favor.

    • I've NEVER outright indicated anything like the stuff you mentioned to ANY of the guys. I've been encouraging and supportive. But I'm just being honest in how I did lower my standards. Which I did! I just don't get why they just stop talking to me or showing interest. And it keeps happening! Thanks for your opinion I appreciate it the criticism and I'll be mindful even more so of not giving any hints that my allude to me "lowering my standards".

    • That's good. A lot of guys under 30 are not ready to accept a lot of responsibilities or a long term relationship. You are more likely to have a long lasting relationship with someone who is up to about 5 - 7 years older. Anyone older is a noticeable generation gap, but it's usually the older guys that are more interested in longer term relationships. You are sort of caught in the group of guys in your age group that are generally still playing the field.

    • The guy that I'm talking about here is 6-7 years older than me tho lol

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Sometimes it's about your self confidence. Self confidence will go a long way. You must also make yourself approachable and sometimes flirt a little. make eye contact and smile and again be self confident.

    • Trust me I had so much self-confidence but after a million rejections after approaching them in person and online (which lead to offline date and then a rejection) its super hard to rebuild my confidence. Even my friends used to be impressed of how ballsy I was. I would even ask a guy to dance at a club or approach them in a social situation. Something is seriously wrong with me. I really hate this about myself and I've even tried and can't change it and that's what pisses me off the most.

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    • Actually nvm. Considering the last guy is not interested (have you read what I wrote) should I text him saying I feel your no longer interested which is okay, but actually enjoyed talking to you and if you want to meet up lets do that so we finally can meet each other in person. I HATE being rejected so much seriously it really hurts everything I dust myself off another guy rejects me.

    • I think texting him is OK. Not a problem really.

  • Double penetration.


What Girls Said 1

  • I think that you are just running into the rotten apples... Be a little bit more patient, someone decent will come a long... If you see someone appealing, don't be afraid to strike up a conversation and ask him if he would like to exchange numbers.. Why do you think that it's really hard for you to get asked out? As for the guy who says, hey what's happening, he is carrying a chip on his shoulder and could possibly be seeing someone else or other females. If I were you, I wouldn't initiate anymore convos.

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